I’m not ok.. far from it. Not sure I’ll ever be. If I had a choice.. I wouldn’t let a lot of things happen in my life. Things that very much affect me but yet there’s nothing I could do to avoid. The only way I was taught to deal was to accept it. Knowing well that everything is in His hands and that His will is in it.
But like I said, it doesn’t mean that knowing that fact makes it feel any better. Just gives me the will and motivation to bear the pain till it’s gone.
recently my heartbeat has either been faster or harder. I’m easily anxious about things, easily depressed. But me being me, continues to hide the anomalies going on. I’m disgusted by myself that I’ve becoming such a natural at it. Always a smile on my face when people are around when I know inside this whole spectrum of emotions and frustrations are raring to show!
I know I know. It’s nothing new about daniel. I’m bored too. But life is not in my favour. At least not now. I’m waiting for things to happen.
I hope it will..I know it will.
starting school tml.. a new start? or more hell to bear?
