9 August-national day.. a day our proud nation flunts of it's little achievements to the world! and do i feel a part of it? of cos i do.. realised that however little i'm involved in this year's parade or any nationalistic events.. my absence didnt translate to a dip in my nationalism.
knowingly or not.. i've been talkin to my men and specialist in camp about the need for a conscript army and how everyone holds this piece of land together for a purpose. Service to the republic is not a matter of choice but a matter of surviability. It aint gonna be comfortable..and some ppl feels its a waste of time.. no one every liked their freedom taken away. but still.. it's necessary.
everytime i talk about this topic.. this sense of nationalism rises within me! haha.. i'm laughing at myself. well i do get a kick everytime i get an audience for a topic like this. think the last time i was talking abt nationalism was with this NSF of mine who was very negative about National Service. i was jus casually talking to him and the next moment i had a small crowd of 6 ppl before me..haha.
Deep inside.. i know for sure that this country is sound.. from the political point of view.. to the military point of view.. and most certainly so in the Christian point of view.. so wats not to be proud of this national day?
spent tat day in a different fashion this year.. went blading at east coast in the afternoon with grace and eda! ha.. think it's at least 5-6 years since i last bladed.. and poor somebody.. can skate but cant brake. had to grab lamp post to brake. hee. sorry baby! got so many brusies..especially on your.... ha. poor thing. glad your bruise getting better.. if not i really starting to feel guilty le.ha
so long since i last skate.. totally washed out after it.. made my way to town for dinner and rushed down to kallang hoping to catch a glimps of the fireworks for the national day parade.
settle outside the people's association's gate and found a "cosy" spot to jus sit around, chatting and watching the sky light up in flames and sparkles!hee.
long time since i did anything like tat.. location wasnt perfect.. but the companion was fantastic! thanks. long trip home.. didnt mind.. didnt hav much to do anywae. Long since i had anyday even close to this one.
more than nationalism.. much more than that to make it this fun.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
stars are fading
it's 3 am in the morning.. i'm dead tired.. i've got an early appointment tml morning.. going roller blading in the afternoon with grace and eda.. got programs planned at night as well.. then again.. wat am i doin here!?! I ought to be on my bed sleeping isnt it?
cant seem to dive into my bed for cover tonight.. tired as i am.. i really dun feel like sleeping. funny why ppl are asking me if everything's alright. Is anything supposed to be wrong? Or is it my msn nick? it's really jus part of a lyrics again.. sad as it might sound.. it's really quite positive to me.. stars fading and i stayed behind.. this sense of silent resilence.. like a shoot sticking out on a mud flat after a slide. How ppl interpret it is really a matter of their current emotive mindsets. Doesnt matter anyway... i know i love the mental picture of the sentence.
i remember a time when i was caught in a position of ironic confessions of a close friend who told me of his romantic preference, which sort of conflicted with mine. Only that my interest was covert. I know not wat was expected of me to perform.. friends on one side.. love on another. hate that feeling. but it was all over. thank God. we both didnt get the girl. haha.
wat now? i see a glimps of wats to come.. a shadow of the past. but this time it's different. i'm laughing. laughing at how i manage to make it happen again. Laughing at how it is affecting me to the point that i can hardly sleep. laughing at the consequences to losing someone dear again. Ha.
stop talkin to me will ya. somethings i really dun need to know. Stop making me feel obliged to give it up when i havent even tried.. stop making me feel like i have to make adjustments becos you spoke.. stop making me feel u know something but yet you're jus waiting for me to say it instead. Stop making me feel like i did something wrong to you. i know it's not your fault and u probably didnt mean it. but i cant help it either.
all i wanna do now is sleep and not feel guilty.. wake up and not feel like i cheated. Thats all.. it's not a game.. it's not a match.. it definately is not a war.. and sometimes it isnt fair.. but the stakes seemed so high.. so simple.. and so delicate. how did i get in the picture? i'm sorry.
dunno know i i got here.. jus let my finger slap the keys.. nothing much more to say.. ciaoz
cant seem to dive into my bed for cover tonight.. tired as i am.. i really dun feel like sleeping. funny why ppl are asking me if everything's alright. Is anything supposed to be wrong? Or is it my msn nick? it's really jus part of a lyrics again.. sad as it might sound.. it's really quite positive to me.. stars fading and i stayed behind.. this sense of silent resilence.. like a shoot sticking out on a mud flat after a slide. How ppl interpret it is really a matter of their current emotive mindsets. Doesnt matter anyway... i know i love the mental picture of the sentence.
i remember a time when i was caught in a position of ironic confessions of a close friend who told me of his romantic preference, which sort of conflicted with mine. Only that my interest was covert. I know not wat was expected of me to perform.. friends on one side.. love on another. hate that feeling. but it was all over. thank God. we both didnt get the girl. haha.
wat now? i see a glimps of wats to come.. a shadow of the past. but this time it's different. i'm laughing. laughing at how i manage to make it happen again. Laughing at how it is affecting me to the point that i can hardly sleep. laughing at the consequences to losing someone dear again. Ha.
stop talkin to me will ya. somethings i really dun need to know. Stop making me feel obliged to give it up when i havent even tried.. stop making me feel like i have to make adjustments becos you spoke.. stop making me feel u know something but yet you're jus waiting for me to say it instead. Stop making me feel like i did something wrong to you. i know it's not your fault and u probably didnt mean it. but i cant help it either.
all i wanna do now is sleep and not feel guilty.. wake up and not feel like i cheated. Thats all.. it's not a game.. it's not a match.. it definately is not a war.. and sometimes it isnt fair.. but the stakes seemed so high.. so simple.. and so delicate. how did i get in the picture? i'm sorry.
dunno know i i got here.. jus let my finger slap the keys.. nothing much more to say.. ciaoz
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