Jesus, take the wheel

my brother shared with me about believing in God and having faith in God.

he told me a story about a famous tight rope artist who was world renowned. This artist traveled far and wide, looking for new challenges and scaling new heights in his trade. So it came to a point where he thought he needed a a defining moment.

He decided to stage a show. The scale of the show was like none he had ever done before. He was to walk a tight rope from a sky scraper to another, high up in the sky. On the day of the act, he had a huge following of people gathering to witness this feat. Before that, he thought he wanted to stir the crowd a little. The crowd loved him. Lots of them admired him for his guts and skillfulness. Little had doubt that this new feat would be of any difficulty for him.

He addressed the cheering crowd saying, "My fans! do you believe that i can do this?" The cheering crowd clapped their hands and whistled, some shouting "Of course! Of course!"

Feeling like a million dollars seeing the support that he is getting, he decided to ask once again, "My dear fans! Who among you do not have a doubt that this is chicken feat for me?" The crowd went wild, cheering even louder, clapping and whistling. They all seemed to really believe in him.

The artist liked it. Feeling his ego swelling with the support, he decided to ask one last time before he steps up on the rope, "My dear fans, if you believe i can do this without breaking a sweat, cheer for me like there's no tomorrow!" The crowd responded, cheering louder than before. Clapping and stomping their foot! In fact, looking at the artist's past records, there is no reason to doubt him at all.

Suddenly, the artist fueled by the response ask a different question, "My dear fans! If you believe me, will one of you volunteer and i will carry you on my back and walk this rope!"

The crowd went dead. Suddenly there was no more cheering and stomping. Everyone looked around, thinking who would be brave enough to do so. Turns out, none of them dared.

The artist was utterly disappointed.

Finally, a little boy walked out of the crowd and volunteered. The crowd was impressed by the guts of this little boy.

The grateful artist took the boy on his shoulders and finished walking on the tight rope. The crowd cheered! For both the artist and the boy. Even though the act had been completed, he felt unsatisfied. The crowd was curious who this gutsy little boy was. Turns out, the boy is the artist's very own son.

When the artist took his bow from the crowd, he held him in his arms and thanked his son, for his was the only one who really had faith in him.

Thinking about it, we all seem to be like the crowd. We all believe in God and recognise what He is capable of. But how many times do we flee from walking with God in our lives. Depending on Him and allowing Him to take us on His powerful shoulders.

This is simply the absence of faith. We believe God can do it, but we seriously doubt that God can do it with you. We're afraid of the "what ifs" that we forgotten that there is no "what ifs" with God. Because of this, we stand outside greatness. We chose not to partake in God's miracles and providence in our lives.

I've heard of people telling me, "why are there so many people with testimonies of great and wonderful things that God is doing in their lives, but there is none that i can boast of?" I say to them, those are the people who let Jesus take the wheel in their lives.

There is a clear distinction between believing in God and having faith in Him. Believing in Him means to understand that He is God and that there's nothing he cannot do. Having faith in Him is allowing Him to impose His will and plans in your life. An act that compliments your believe.

It is very relational. Like that little boy, he not only believe his daddy could do it, but he trust him enough to know that his daddy could take him through it. Let us look at our relationship with our Father in heaven. Have it been the same case like the crowd? How many times, we rather believe in ourselves than to trust in God, relying on our own wisdom than His.

May we remind ourselves daily to lift our lives to God, giving Him the driving seat in our lives. Demonstrating true faith in our Father, who can and will carry us through it all.

Bungee in Phuket

"Live from Phuket"

here i am.. sitting in my hotel's internet room in Phuket, hiding from the rain.

well.. it's not all bad actually. Finally have some time for myself.. read up on local news on channelnewsasia.com, sipping coffee.

that's more like a holiday.

Phuket wasn't exactly too fantastic for me.. maybe if it was a shorter trip it'll be much better. But Jeremy's all over to experience the Island through and through. Well well.. i'll try my best accommodating his itinerary then.

I'm all burnt up now.. but i know why!! ha. cos a certain friend once told me that i could never get a proper tan because of the brown pigments in my skin is lacking. How true.. the cycle always goes red--> burnt--> pain--> peel--> white. i'm in the pain and peel state now. haha.

well well.. just a short review on what i did over here.. parasailing.. jet skiing .. set fireworks!(i was impressed! imagine that! ha) and the most memorable one is BUNGEE JUMPING!! ha.

Yep yep.. was driving to this jungle bungee place operated by an ang mo. Unshaven.. long curly hair. Friendly though. Reached just in time to see a couple jump together.

Oh boy.. never would i have imagined that it was that high. Read on the brochure that it was 50m high.. well.. 50m "sound" pretty low to me. Seeing it was a different thing all together!

Heights to me is like chili. I feel the full torment of the "hotness" as of someone who don't enjoy it. but the difference is that i kindda like that feeling. ha. So chili is both a wonderful and terrible thing for me. sounds weird eh. ha.

so i'm not afraid to say that heights has always been a problem for me.. but yet.. there's a sense of excitement and ecstasy when you're in the presence of heights. So there i was.. signed up for the big jump. kept telling it was nothing.. just go up and jump. How hard could that be.

So i was all tied up onto the bungee rope.. sitting on the rising platform on the flimsy crane. (They assured me that they haven't had an accident since their opening in 1991. they better not have their first today. Then again.. looking at the nature of the activity.. jumping from great heights into water.. wat else could have happened?)

when i finally reached the top of the crane, i was suprised how calm i was. heart not beating too fast.. no sweaty palms. The jump master wasn't too friendly though. all he said was " i count 1,2,3 then you jump. Understand?" i nodded. That was simple. 1,2,3 and i jump. how hard can it be.

With my legs all tied up.. i hop to the edge of the platform. What a wonderful sight! the mountains.. the lake below.. the birds in the sky! If only i was up here for coffee instead of having to jump. I try to numb myself from the fear.. kept telling myself that it was nothing again and again. it worked. i wasn't really afraid even at the verge of the platform. then i heard the inevitable.

"1, 2, 3!!!" Like a well trained soldier, i jumped.

suddenly i couldn't touch the ground.. the falling sensation shot right to my spine.. all the fear that i thought i didn't have rushed in all at once. for 2 whole second i thought i was gonna die for sure! the feeling was was terrible.. but like chili. ha. wonderful as well. Scared the shit out of me! ha.(not literally though)

the next thing i know i could almost touch the water surface! then up i go again! bouncing on a rubber band. Every rebound was as exciting. short lived.. but worth it.

Was in a fix whether i wanted to jump for the second time. ha. Part of me know that having gone through the first.. i know exactly what to expect and i still don't know how anyone could have prepared for it any better ever for the second time. but another part of me is dying to try again! ha. especially when they charge half price for the second jump!

well well.. it was still pretty ex though. will try again somewhere else when i'm feeling rich then.

Bungee definitely not for the weak hearted. But definitely an experience i'll never forget.

Dinner time. Check back when i can. Ciaoz.

Lost and Found

Lost and found.. lost and found.

i was lost, now am found? well.. that's true.. but that's not the only good news!

Thought i lost my keychains!! was feeling really down for a few days because of that. WHY!!! WHY SO CARELESS! haha.. looked high and low. then just when i resigned to the fact that it was lost.. i found it!ha.

found it in a small pocket in one of my bags.. then suddenly it hit me how stupid i was. i remembered going out with that bag and i was in a pants without pockets. i was afraid i'd lose my keys so i kept it in the side pocket and clipped it close if case it falls out.

stupid me. looking high and low. glad it's back.

then good news comes in pairs. found my beloved notebook(not the electronic one.. paper notebook)!!! haha. thought someone stole it in camp. damn angry when i couldn't find it. i pactically searched all the offices of my battalion!! but still can't find.

Got lots of stuff stashed in the book cos i always doodle my ideas and stuff in it. and i hardly remember all the stupid ideas i've got. love the notebook too. bought it from my fav shop..MuJI!!!! ha.so it's not cheap also.

well.. the book suddenly appeared at home too. silly me. wasted time searching.. wasted time being angry at myself for misplacing them.

then again.. i'm happy now! :)

Guilty as charged

it's true. Making friends is easy. Staying as friends is the hard part. I know some of you are disagreeing with me already. But the kind of friendship i'm referring to here are meaningful relationships. I don't know about you, but it is a hard lesson to learn for me.

I read somewhere that our capacity to maintain meaningful relationships have actually been a research topic, where the findings seemed to indicate that the we humans can only have on average of 6 meaningful relationships at any one time.

To simplify things, ask yourself, how many best/really good friends do you have? People you constantly care about. Some friends are "better" friends than others.. we're talking about the "better" ones. I think i fit into the average of 6. Especially now.

Yes yes.. i hear it again. You're not like that. We do try to kid ourselves sometimes. Good friends we can have aplenty. Care, i could give to many. But how many of them truly means the world to you. How many of them reciprocate that feeling. Ok.. maybe reciprocating is another issue, but it does not make a differences with our capacity.

All this translates our capacity to love. Sometime what we see as "love" is really limited. Drawing a border around it. Our willingness to love the beautiful, the complete. Sometimes we chose to love the people we can, or rather to chose to love the part of them that we can accept. Even in churches, a lot of people are doing it wrong. Having good intentions to love, but loving with their limited capacity.

I am guilty as charged. I told myself that it is just too tiring making new friends and making new friends really good friends. I already got enough friends to trouble me with maintenance, trying to keep those existing friendship from breaking up. (and a lot of them are already broken) Why would i in my right mind want to increase my problems?

Then again, like general revelations, my conscience is begging me to differ. Knowing well that this is the only real reason people don't stay in church. Because there is no meaningful relationship being built. Not before long.. the steam will run out. Christianity turns into a fad.

Meaningful relations in church stretches high and wide like the cross. First of all, a meaningful relation with our Father in heaven, through knowing Him and loving Him and feeling His love for us in return. Next, a meaningful relation with our brothers and sisters, through truly knowing them and loving them, and being loved in return. If i have not had these meaningful relationships, i think i will be gone as well.

But what about our limited capacity like i said before? Are we destined to love in small groups? How are we to overcome our incapacity? What about my no. 7 friend?

The answer is simple. We simply are drawing love from the wrong well. Loving with the love of Christ. Not with our own. Simply drawing from a never ending source, an all powerful love. We'll realise that there is no end or limit to how we love, who we love or why we love. We love because He first loved us. He did not see us for who we are, cos if He did, i definitely would not have found favor with Him.

A lesson that for sure i'll take my lifetime to learn. A lesson that is worth a lifetime as well.

May we learn to love out of our comfort, love more than the lovable people, love more than then beautiful one we see and even love those who hurt us before. For if God saw us for these, He wouldn't take a second look. More importantly, may we learn to lean on His love, for God is love and i love you because He loves you too.