read an interesting passage today. It goes something like this :
"A particular song hinges on the words: "If I never loved, I never would have cried." It's all about protecting oneself from being hurt by removing oneself from what one perceives to be the source of the pain. I think we can all understand these feelings having been hurt by relationships and finding, even for a season, a certain consolation in being alone. But I think we also would agree that isolation is never the answer to this kind of pain. To love anyone is to be vulnerable and open to being hurt. Love and pain go together, and the only true answer to this dilemma is to welcome them both.
Love costs. Think of what Christ paid when he embraced us. Think of the pain the Son of Man endured in loving a lost and wayward humanity. Love is never without pain. When you sign on to a relationship, you sign on to being hurt. Count on it. But who wants the other option?
C.S. Lewis once wrote about a place where one can be free from the "perturbations" of love. (Perturbation, by the way, is the state of being perturbed.) That place is one's coffin. Can't argue with that. Nothing can get through to you there. So Simon and Garfunkel and C.S. Lewis agree: There is a place you can be safe from the painful aspects of being in a relationship with others, but who wants it?
What would make Christ go through what he went through for us? Love and all the rewards it brings in warmth, companionship, fellowship, and joy. Nothing brings more meaning to life than love. True love is what God is and what we were made to know with him and with each other. Because of what Christ accomplished on the cross, the pain of love will one day be gone. And even now, we can experience its victory.
So what will it be? The high cost and vulnerability of love or the loneliness of isolation? A rock feels no pain, and an island never cries. But a son or a daughter knows a warm place in the family of God.
It's important to know your options. "
Friday, September 29, 2006
Seldom eat brownies.. always thought it's a little sweet.
But it's different this time.
It's still sweet.
But this time.. it tasted jus rite.
hmmm.. i wonder why.
Thanks
i know u didnt make it.. but it didnt matter..
cos i know i wasnt really tasting "it" either. ha
alright alright... i must admit.. I'm bias. Anything from you is good. :P
thanks. :)
Jiayou eh.. 11days more! hang in there ya!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
a different level
well well well... sunday night again.
recorded 2 songs in church today while practicing for the community event next sat. singing 2 oldies-- Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin(The moon represents my heart) and Wo Zhi Zai Hu Ni(I only care for you).
not as fruitful as last week though.. could tell some of the band members seemed quite bothered with other stuff. well.. we managed anywae. Ppl were telling me to be more commanding during the prac.. but i realised this isnt my time. It's a youth initiative and i've been approached to lend my vocals.. so thats it.. let then sort things out themselves then.
but still.. the recording was interesting. Listening to myself on record.. judging myself. Even now as i'm typing.. the 2 songs are on repeat. haha. Cant stand it.. hearing all the embrassing flaws. think i need to work on my pronounciation and cut that irritating vibration thingie.. ha. used to think it was interesting havin the tone vibrate.. but it totally sucks when it's out of control. Worst thing is that i'm so used to it now.. oh man.
singing for me has come to a different level now.. nope.. not a higher level.. jus a different one. Guess i reached a point to realise that there's nothing special about my vocals and there really is not much more to improve.. and again.. Nope.. not becos i'm too good.. but becos my vocals are apparantly not too good for singing. But still.. thank God for this wonderful gift of passion for singing! Good that i realise that i wasnt born a singer.. which means.. doin without the talent portion.. i gotta work harder to sing smart.. to master within my limited range instead. thats the different level that i was talkin about. If i can only play one piece on the piano.. i wanna make sure that one piece is really good! : )
well.. havin said all that... i must admit i'm no where near anywhere. I'll keep practicing though. Someday this voice will touch someone somehow.. so help me God.
back to bed.. yawn.
recorded 2 songs in church today while practicing for the community event next sat. singing 2 oldies-- Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin(The moon represents my heart) and Wo Zhi Zai Hu Ni(I only care for you).
not as fruitful as last week though.. could tell some of the band members seemed quite bothered with other stuff. well.. we managed anywae. Ppl were telling me to be more commanding during the prac.. but i realised this isnt my time. It's a youth initiative and i've been approached to lend my vocals.. so thats it.. let then sort things out themselves then.
but still.. the recording was interesting. Listening to myself on record.. judging myself. Even now as i'm typing.. the 2 songs are on repeat. haha. Cant stand it.. hearing all the embrassing flaws. think i need to work on my pronounciation and cut that irritating vibration thingie.. ha. used to think it was interesting havin the tone vibrate.. but it totally sucks when it's out of control. Worst thing is that i'm so used to it now.. oh man.
singing for me has come to a different level now.. nope.. not a higher level.. jus a different one. Guess i reached a point to realise that there's nothing special about my vocals and there really is not much more to improve.. and again.. Nope.. not becos i'm too good.. but becos my vocals are apparantly not too good for singing. But still.. thank God for this wonderful gift of passion for singing! Good that i realise that i wasnt born a singer.. which means.. doin without the talent portion.. i gotta work harder to sing smart.. to master within my limited range instead. thats the different level that i was talkin about. If i can only play one piece on the piano.. i wanna make sure that one piece is really good! : )
well.. havin said all that... i must admit i'm no where near anywhere. I'll keep practicing though. Someday this voice will touch someone somehow.. so help me God.
30th Sept.. Joo Seng.. evening.. songs and moonlight... jus for you.
back to bed.. yawn.
Monday, September 18, 2006
MC! :x
On MC today..mild food posioning it seems. Slept in till 11. (dun be jealous grace. :P)hee. long time since i had that much of sleep.
yesterday was terrible.. feeling cold and aching all over.. tummy wasnt feeling well.. feverish and a little short of breath. All i knew was that i was leading worship in the morning.. prayed really hard.. hope i wont collapes on stage. ha.
God was good... He held me up when i was on stage.. couldnt feel my weakness during worship except that i perspired alot more than usual. But the moment i stepped down.. my whole body gave way.. had a good nap though out the sermon.. (oops. ;p). feel alot better after that. but still.. i was dragging my body around.
Got 2 new Jap friends in church today.. they attending a language sch in sg and came to our cell on sat night. well... not much ppl attending to them so xav and i was chatting with them during lunch time. to be honest.. it was a little tiring to do so.. felt like i was entertaining them.. cos i know at that moment i'd rather rest in some corner in church than be at the hot and stuffy coffee shop trying not to show my weariness, trying to commute in our semi english-jap conversation. Any other day would be fine.. jus not today.. not now.. i looked around.. everyone in their own little world.. well then. If everyone seems like tat.. it could only be that its me that is in MY own little world again. ha.
well.. guilty enough that my friends hav to cover for my work today.. goin back to camp soon. feelin much better now. Well.. think i better buy some supper back for them to apologise tonight.
alot of counting down recently.. exams and deadlines.. As for me.. i'm counting down to my wallaby trip.. dreading it more and more.. but then again. hmmm.. wat can i do about it. Gonna bring some sand back at least. the only thing i'm looking forward to. haha
yesterday was terrible.. feeling cold and aching all over.. tummy wasnt feeling well.. feverish and a little short of breath. All i knew was that i was leading worship in the morning.. prayed really hard.. hope i wont collapes on stage. ha.
God was good... He held me up when i was on stage.. couldnt feel my weakness during worship except that i perspired alot more than usual. But the moment i stepped down.. my whole body gave way.. had a good nap though out the sermon.. (oops. ;p). feel alot better after that. but still.. i was dragging my body around.
Got 2 new Jap friends in church today.. they attending a language sch in sg and came to our cell on sat night. well... not much ppl attending to them so xav and i was chatting with them during lunch time. to be honest.. it was a little tiring to do so.. felt like i was entertaining them.. cos i know at that moment i'd rather rest in some corner in church than be at the hot and stuffy coffee shop trying not to show my weariness, trying to commute in our semi english-jap conversation. Any other day would be fine.. jus not today.. not now.. i looked around.. everyone in their own little world.. well then. If everyone seems like tat.. it could only be that its me that is in MY own little world again. ha.
well.. guilty enough that my friends hav to cover for my work today.. goin back to camp soon. feelin much better now. Well.. think i better buy some supper back for them to apologise tonight.
alot of counting down recently.. exams and deadlines.. As for me.. i'm counting down to my wallaby trip.. dreading it more and more.. but then again. hmmm.. wat can i do about it. Gonna bring some sand back at least. the only thing i'm looking forward to. haha
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Back From Malaysia
haiz.. vcd couldnt work.. wanted to watch "Il mare" since i took 2days of leave. but the show i borrowed from xav jus wont play.. irritated.. but well.. spared me some time to do other things as well.
anywae.. Il mare is the original korean version of LakeHouse. i watched it on tv before but that was like at least a good 4-5 years back.. can hardly remember the details already.. finally hav the time and the disc but it jus wont play.. argh.
Anywae.. came back from malaysia over the weekend on a short mission trip with the youth of my church. Quite an eye opener for me as i can hardly imagine that the ground could be so hard and so thirsty. More than ever that i saw that wat ai qiu jie was doin there was more than necessary. Cant imagine how dissappointed and reluctant i was when we went doin street evangelism door to door. Doors slammed and dogs let lose.. not an uncommon sight. but thats jus the adults. On the other hand.. the youth are really curious and thirsty to know about this God we're talking abt. But they are simply so shy and reluctant even though they're interested.
Went streetE on the streets instead.. much more fruitful there.. shared 316 with them in chinese.. fumble and stuttered the first time.. but God was gracious.. didnt make me lose face.. haha. My faith and confidence grew as we kept trying.. encouraged by Grace(liyun) who was right on the other side of the street. I realised 316 is an opener and there's so much more to share with them.. and that u've gotta speak their language.
Learnt it best from Brother Huang from Ai Qiu jie's church. Amazed at how he captured the attention of the few young gansters speaking of the topics of their interest and how he came right back to Christ! so simple and effective.. had my chance to evangelize to some of those gangsters.. and really had a tought time keeping their attention while the others of his friends circling us in motocycles laughing at us. But u could tell the 2 of them we so intrigued when i told them that death is not the end of the road of life. intimedated by his friends.. had no chance to pray with them. Invited them for the event. But end up one of them too shy to come. saw him outside the church but was too late to call him in. looking from a distant, he rode away the moment he saw anyone coming his way. I pray God will bless him all the same though.
the youths are so receptive that i did the sinner's prayer with quite some of them rite on the streets.. we were so fired up tat we preached to anyone we saw on the streets.. and God is good!
But one embaressing thing is when i saw this girl who slipped pass ted on the streets.. i came up to her and asked her for 5mins of her time.. the next moment she went shouting " JIU MING AH(HELP!!)!!!" and ran away. haha. i was laughing at myself.. thing the whole church was laughing when i told them. well well.. what did i do man. can be i look tat scary can i?
in between.. we had practices for the evangelistic event on sunday nite.. i planned some songs to "present" as they say we should tone down alittle. but i know for sure it's worship for us all. had this short skit as well before mushi's call. managed to squeeze in some games .. wait.. no.. its silly games in between.. haha. doin some posture of animals.. but really fun.. everyone making fun of Grace's signature move during the July's skit. ha. poor grace.. her whole face was red when we all did the the action for photo taking. whahah. somemore they all very bad keep targeting Grace in the game cos her LuoHan fish posture too easy le. haha. (*who told you to chose so easy posture!haha):P
Had lots of good food there as well.. lots of ppl treating us.. eating on a bugdget that never seemed to deplete. haha. first time trying banana prata by Grace's introduction... cutted open the prata and some stuff flowed out of it.. tot i was oil.. a little disgusted by it at first.. but realised it's not oil but melted banana in the prata!!!! wow.. give it a bite and it was really great! haha. think really need to go on diet man.
the ppl over there also got us deserts and liang char( cooling tea) to drink.. it was too much for the mere 15 of us.. and someone made me drink so many bowls! :x haha. super bloated. was telling them i'll turn into the merlion vomiting if i drink anymore. haha.
well.. on the night of the event.. everything went well..as usual.. i'd stumble with words on stage.. good thing God is always in control. Liyun ROCKS! turned the skit around. simple stunning on stage with her stand up comedian talents that totally went out of the script.hah. i was laughing my head off. thanks to her.. the audience was very much more involved. Many of them accepted Christ during the call and alot of us was supposed to do "Pei tan". i came down from stage a little later.. so i saw most of them already entertained.. then i saw this group of 6 guy standing around.
tot there must be at least one of them there who accept Christ.. so went over and ask. i asked," hi guys, so did anyone of you put up your hands jus now?" all looked at me and shook. i was like... oops. haha. i was expecting to speak to the one who accepted only. but God had other plans. they happened to be part of the more beng group.. but God give me the courage to push a little further. I told them since they havent decided.. i asked if i could share with them for one last time. THank God they all obliged! Got them seated on the floor and grabbed a copy of the 316 file.. shared with them again.. told them where they were standing at the crossroad where their choice is clear.
they all listened intently.. i was getting nervous and excited.. i didnt lead them to do the sinner's prayer immediately.. i shared with them a short testimony of how i questioned God and got a fulfilling reply in peace and joy in my life! then i asked if they believe a little in wat i believed. they nodded. Asked if they willing to accept Christ and they all smilingly agreed. Thank God. felt the group was too big.. so i asked sunny to lead half of them in the sinner's prayer while i led the other 3.
after the prayer.. felt a strong prompting to tell them something very honest. i told them that we'd only be here for this event.. and we wont know if they're coming back to church after tat.. but i told them to promise me that even if they left church they'll pray to Jesus in times of trouble and joys. Taught them to pray a simple prayer. tats all i can leave with them. I could feel their appreciation. i hope they felt more than tat. Felt really great reaching out to them!
i turned around.. saw the Lims at work. haha. Ted was busy taking photos with his legion of female fans while Grace was the last group still left in the church still chatting up.. saw her from afar trying to answer those little girl's questions with her chinese.. haha. wished i had my video cam. but the girls was still intently listening to her.. so tats a good thing.ha * Grace your chinese not too bad eh.hah. jiayou k.. send u to china to evangelize next! ha)
God is good.. had my doubts for my reason to help out there.. tot i was running away from something. but turned out not. God planned it all. Thank God i went. Opened my eyes.
SOme of them goin back this fri to help out.. but i cant make it..so sorry. Well.. back to the dreadful reality for me. But i guess i've got another mission now.
long post.. sleepy eyes.. good night :)
anywae.. Il mare is the original korean version of LakeHouse. i watched it on tv before but that was like at least a good 4-5 years back.. can hardly remember the details already.. finally hav the time and the disc but it jus wont play.. argh.
Anywae.. came back from malaysia over the weekend on a short mission trip with the youth of my church. Quite an eye opener for me as i can hardly imagine that the ground could be so hard and so thirsty. More than ever that i saw that wat ai qiu jie was doin there was more than necessary. Cant imagine how dissappointed and reluctant i was when we went doin street evangelism door to door. Doors slammed and dogs let lose.. not an uncommon sight. but thats jus the adults. On the other hand.. the youth are really curious and thirsty to know about this God we're talking abt. But they are simply so shy and reluctant even though they're interested.
Went streetE on the streets instead.. much more fruitful there.. shared 316 with them in chinese.. fumble and stuttered the first time.. but God was gracious.. didnt make me lose face.. haha. My faith and confidence grew as we kept trying.. encouraged by Grace(liyun) who was right on the other side of the street. I realised 316 is an opener and there's so much more to share with them.. and that u've gotta speak their language.
Learnt it best from Brother Huang from Ai Qiu jie's church. Amazed at how he captured the attention of the few young gansters speaking of the topics of their interest and how he came right back to Christ! so simple and effective.. had my chance to evangelize to some of those gangsters.. and really had a tought time keeping their attention while the others of his friends circling us in motocycles laughing at us. But u could tell the 2 of them we so intrigued when i told them that death is not the end of the road of life. intimedated by his friends.. had no chance to pray with them. Invited them for the event. But end up one of them too shy to come. saw him outside the church but was too late to call him in. looking from a distant, he rode away the moment he saw anyone coming his way. I pray God will bless him all the same though.
the youths are so receptive that i did the sinner's prayer with quite some of them rite on the streets.. we were so fired up tat we preached to anyone we saw on the streets.. and God is good!
But one embaressing thing is when i saw this girl who slipped pass ted on the streets.. i came up to her and asked her for 5mins of her time.. the next moment she went shouting " JIU MING AH(HELP!!)!!!" and ran away. haha. i was laughing at myself.. thing the whole church was laughing when i told them. well well.. what did i do man. can be i look tat scary can i?
in between.. we had practices for the evangelistic event on sunday nite.. i planned some songs to "present" as they say we should tone down alittle. but i know for sure it's worship for us all. had this short skit as well before mushi's call. managed to squeeze in some games .. wait.. no.. its silly games in between.. haha. doin some posture of animals.. but really fun.. everyone making fun of Grace's signature move during the July's skit. ha. poor grace.. her whole face was red when we all did the the action for photo taking. whahah. somemore they all very bad keep targeting Grace in the game cos her LuoHan fish posture too easy le. haha. (*who told you to chose so easy posture!haha):P
Had lots of good food there as well.. lots of ppl treating us.. eating on a bugdget that never seemed to deplete. haha. first time trying banana prata by Grace's introduction... cutted open the prata and some stuff flowed out of it.. tot i was oil.. a little disgusted by it at first.. but realised it's not oil but melted banana in the prata!!!! wow.. give it a bite and it was really great! haha. think really need to go on diet man.
the ppl over there also got us deserts and liang char( cooling tea) to drink.. it was too much for the mere 15 of us.. and someone made me drink so many bowls! :x haha. super bloated. was telling them i'll turn into the merlion vomiting if i drink anymore. haha.
well.. on the night of the event.. everything went well..as usual.. i'd stumble with words on stage.. good thing God is always in control. Liyun ROCKS! turned the skit around. simple stunning on stage with her stand up comedian talents that totally went out of the script.hah. i was laughing my head off. thanks to her.. the audience was very much more involved. Many of them accepted Christ during the call and alot of us was supposed to do "Pei tan". i came down from stage a little later.. so i saw most of them already entertained.. then i saw this group of 6 guy standing around.
tot there must be at least one of them there who accept Christ.. so went over and ask. i asked," hi guys, so did anyone of you put up your hands jus now?" all looked at me and shook. i was like... oops. haha. i was expecting to speak to the one who accepted only. but God had other plans. they happened to be part of the more beng group.. but God give me the courage to push a little further. I told them since they havent decided.. i asked if i could share with them for one last time. THank God they all obliged! Got them seated on the floor and grabbed a copy of the 316 file.. shared with them again.. told them where they were standing at the crossroad where their choice is clear.
they all listened intently.. i was getting nervous and excited.. i didnt lead them to do the sinner's prayer immediately.. i shared with them a short testimony of how i questioned God and got a fulfilling reply in peace and joy in my life! then i asked if they believe a little in wat i believed. they nodded. Asked if they willing to accept Christ and they all smilingly agreed. Thank God. felt the group was too big.. so i asked sunny to lead half of them in the sinner's prayer while i led the other 3.
after the prayer.. felt a strong prompting to tell them something very honest. i told them that we'd only be here for this event.. and we wont know if they're coming back to church after tat.. but i told them to promise me that even if they left church they'll pray to Jesus in times of trouble and joys. Taught them to pray a simple prayer. tats all i can leave with them. I could feel their appreciation. i hope they felt more than tat. Felt really great reaching out to them!
i turned around.. saw the Lims at work. haha. Ted was busy taking photos with his legion of female fans while Grace was the last group still left in the church still chatting up.. saw her from afar trying to answer those little girl's questions with her chinese.. haha. wished i had my video cam. but the girls was still intently listening to her.. so tats a good thing.ha * Grace your chinese not too bad eh.hah. jiayou k.. send u to china to evangelize next! ha)
God is good.. had my doubts for my reason to help out there.. tot i was running away from something. but turned out not. God planned it all. Thank God i went. Opened my eyes.
SOme of them goin back this fri to help out.. but i cant make it..so sorry. Well.. back to the dreadful reality for me. But i guess i've got another mission now.
long post.. sleepy eyes.. good night :)
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