Merry Christmas

Check this out! those goin to the bbq..u'll get to try my original Bacon Roll!

anywae..merry chirstmas ya!

Amazing Love

"I'm so amazed at how You take my life
And love me more, more than I deserve
I'm blown away
by Your power to change this life
Once more, I'm planted in You

Who would know, that I was once
On a road so far away from You
All I know is that I live my life
To show the world Your amazing love
Your amazing love

I'm so amazed at the wonder of all creation
I will live to honour You my Lord
You are the gold, treasure of all life
I will rest in You in praise eternally

Your love is pure

Your love so divine

Your love transforms my soul my mind

Your love has the power to bring new hope

Amazing love

It's Christmas again.

It's Christmas again.

As much as i know exactly what Christmas is about.. i cant help but be attracted by the romantic allure that's tagged along with the season. Warm comfort washing thru my body every time i think about it. Ahhh.. feels good to be Christmas again.

Something's stirring in me.. not sure if it's that familar feeling. Doesnt seemed the same this time. My heart was beating so heavy i can hardly sleep. All i remember is i had to let it out. I sat up on my bed.. looking across my bunk lit up by the cresent moon outside my window. Everyone's asleep. Creeped over to my sqeeky cabinet and slipped out my notebook from between my clothes.

My heart's still beating hard.. as if it had something to say. I'm sure i wasnt ready to listen. Or at least i think i probably know wat it has to say. I couldnt care less.. i simply had to let it out. Before i know.. it was close to 230am and i ended up writing 5 pages on my notebook.

I thought i was gonna write a Christmas card or something.. but i dun think there has ever been a 5 page card. A Christmas letter to a special friend that is. A letter of honest reflections.. gratitude.. regrets.. admiration and hopefully a new begining.

I couldnt end the letter.. but the beating died down.. i was exhuasted. I left it as it was and went back to sleep. Felt so comfortable. But deep down inside.. i know this letter will never be sent out.

But still... Blessed Christmas to you.

I'm back.. back from Aust.. back from church camp... back from madness.

Suddenly felt lost sitting in front of my computer.. missing out quite alot on the cyber world. Almost forgotten about my email passwords and everything. It's been some time i guess.

I didnt have any urge to be slappin on the keyboard right after i came back from aust... not that i've got nothing to share.. it's jus that i long for a more personal interaction with the people around me. Being away for a month from my friends and family really sucks. Its a great experience no doubt.. but nothing beats being with your loved ones. So i guess the internet can wait.hee.

kept a diary over in aust.. in case i forgets abt the trip. Cant share everything over here though.. some personal reflections here and there. Nothing that will interest anyone but me i guess.

Never had a moment of rest since i gotten back in singapore.. always seemed to hav something to do. One moment i'm here..the next moment i'm in church.. the next moment i'm back in Jurong camp.. suddenly i'm in church camp. before i know it.. i woke up on my own bed having been sleeping the past 13 hour.

Dun remember when was the last time i really knocked out like i did yesterday. But it feels great.

Sorry if everything over here looks so unorganised. Had a hard time deciding which event should go into the entry here first or anything theing that i want to say over here. Not that everything's so exciting that it should be included.. it's just that nothing deserves a mention at the moment. I'm still digesting wat i had recieved the past 4 days.

God worked greatly in the camp this year.. He showed me great and mighty things that i never thought i'd see. I felt released.. encouraged.. empowered by the Holy Spirit. I felt like i'm standing in the great divide.. But when i'm back in reality.. i start to forget what is it i had to do. Nope.. the fire havent died down in me.. i'm jus lost. Caught in His will and my circumstances. How do i apply?

Teach me oh Lord.

Been mad busy with church and camp and duties and wallaby trip prep and self-indulgence. I hardly got 4-5 hours of sleep everydae.. sometimes i tot i was jus gonna knock out. Jus reached home from some last min shopping for my Wallaby trip. in less than 12hours.. i'll be flying off to th great outback!

Bye bye Singapore.. hello Rockhamptom! ha. pretty excited. To me.. i'm goin with strangers i hardly know for 2 days..doin things i hardly learnt for a day. Honestly.. i really dont know wats goin to happen over there..but i know nothing's too hard in the SAF to pick up anywae.. well.. i'll jus go hav fun and prepare myself to come back for camp! hee.

Kept telling myself i'd jus be gone for 3 weeks.. be back in no time.. but still something seems to be dragging my feet. I'm right in the midst of Passion24/7 prep... i'm really excited.. why do i hav to leave at tis point of time! There's so much i wanna involve in.. feels quite sorry for Prudence to leave everything to her. It's not gonna be easy..be praying for her. Tats all i can do over there.. then again.. thats all we need to do. PRAY! hee.

Think i'll be keeping a diary over there.. jotting down little things that happens.. and i'll put it back here when i'm back. haiz. so many things and ppl i'm gonna miss. I know i volunteered for this trip, but a small part of me is regretting my decision. Feels like the time when i called the army up for early enlistment. But i think it's different this time. Think God is purposely sucking me away from the action.. stall my anticipation.. like the description i gave Xav.. a grenade with it's safety pin out still in the hand. Sitting still in the plam. Imagine the explosivness and the potential! BooM!

Over shot my budget this month.. spent way too much. i probably halfed my wish list. Out of impuse i bought a digital camera this afternoon. ha. Panasonic FX8! looks pretty good so far. Bought myself a decent watch.Spent some money on replnisment of some daily accessories like my bagPack..etc etc. Still got the car to pay off.. housing.. transport. I'm jus glad i'm finally flying off..ending this crazy shopping spree. Luckily this is a one off event.

Honestly, i'm having a headach rite now.. whoever is reading this.. please pray for me. I pray God put me in the outback for a reason.. like how Moses met God.. not in the palaces.. but in some ulu mountains. ha. Cant imagine i find some burning bush in aust.. think i'll shrug it off as forest fire or something. wahha.

Gotta go.. got some last min packing to do. For the ppl i'll be missing.. i miss you. For my loved ones (you know who u are) .. i love you.. i'll be back on the 24th Nov.

in case of emergency.. jus give me a msg. i'll call back when i'm available.

Seeya!

Before You, i am nothing
i had nothing,
no identity, no worth.
To the world.. i'm worthless.

But i'm precious.. because You said i am.

And suddenly, i have everything.

The measure of a man

Wat makes a man? How do we measure? By deeds? By conduct? By acheivements? By whose.. or rather wat standards do we measure our values?

i've been wondering. Instinctively, i turned to the internet, hoping the information highway might hav something to say.

My inquiry returned pages and pages of non conclusive crap.. some leadership philosophy and mainly lyrics of a couple of songs of that title. One sung by American Idol runner up, Clay Aiken.. the other older song by the same title sung by none other than Elton John. Ironicly, wat would a self-professed homosexual know about the measure of a MAN? I checked the lyrics.. it's true, he knows nuts about being a man.

Anywae.. my search on the internet cast more shadows than it shed any light at all on the suject. I'm not here to answer that question.. i've got no idea wat that ideal measure is or how i measure up to that standard. However, i do know i've been searching the wong places.

Think the answer is probably in that book on my table called the Bible. I'm sure it's in there.

Been too long since i blogged. Not than i havent got the time.. lots of time the past 2 weeks to jus slap a few lines.. but somehow i'm dumb strucked infront of my computer.

I think i'm the number one fan on my blog (not sure if ever more than 5 person ever reads my blog..ha), and everytime i read it as if it's written by someone else. It intrigues me wat this guy daniel has been goin thru. i'm sure i'd be laughing at him if i ever meet him. Cant help but feel a certain proximity to him. Maybe i do know him. Who knows?

Its been an amazing spiritual journey the past 2 weeks. Seeing how God is working. Thank God for the front row seat that i've got. He's given the Youth Ministry so much relevations and visions. Something we havent seen happening before. The Flame of revival so surely befalling upon the church. He seems to hav got something for me to do. I'm listening.

Never felt so assured of His plans in my life.. feels like i'm taking a bus home.. no idea which route the bus is goin but i know for sure i'm goin home. I'm still human.. sometimes i'm still afraid.(okie okie.. most of the time i'm afraid..) but i'm learning to let go and let God. Feels good.. imagine..i'm living in His promise! How cool is tat! Cant imagine everytime i board the bus doubting if the bus driver really knows his way.ha.

Lots of things coming up in my life.. Wallaby trip to Australia.. David Tao comin to town.. Passion24/7 up rite next.. lots more to go. Never has there been a more eventful period in my life. Suddenly got this urge to suck up all the life there is out there! To chase after experiences.. to laugh.. to cry.. to run away.. to come right back to where i begin. Even had the urge to get married and be a father.ha. (Oie!..Dun laugh! i know u are!).

Honestly.. i really envy strong christian couples. Always there to pick each other up when they're down. Such a blessing to be serving, praying and growing with your spouse. Bone of my bone.. flesh of my flesh. Such is the relation God intended of this union. A proximity that no friend can replace. beautiful, amazing and vivid description. I'm praying for my Eve too.

Lord.. if it's in Your will.. *wink* You know wat to do ya! Amen.

Dear heavenly Father, Help me, i pray,
To honor You with all that i do today.
Amen

jus a thought

had an interesting thought jus yesterdae. Was hoping it would rain. It didnt.

Suddenly forgotten how it felt to stand in the rain.. droplets of sky dews grazing my face.. soaking my skin. Sound of rushing rain hitting the ground.

As i grow up.. the idea of standing in the rain suddenly lost it's appeal. Starting to associate it with catching the flu.. wet and drenched.. wet shoes... wet socks.. and er.. wet underwear. Not a pretty feeling when i think about it.

When i was younger.. rain was the best thing ever. I'd remember the time when we'll only come out and play when it rains. playing soccer or rugby in the mud filled fields!

In army when i was still a trainee.. everyday we were praying for rain as trainings would be cancelled. Before u know it we'd all be sleeping again.. hypnotised by the rhythm of the rain. The only thing we complain when it rains were the freezing cold showers.

Not sure if u noticed.. the universal motion of stretching out your hand to feel the rain drops when it rains.. it's the same everywhere. i'd see children do that.. cupping their hands together to form a puddle in thier palms. I'd wonder where they learnt it.

This strange enticement abt the rain. i love it.

I'm still hoping it rains todae.

Roller coaster

22 years of my life and i still cannot believe how someone can alternate one's mood so easily. yes yes.. it's me. Felt like i'm on an emotional roller coaster.. again.

It's really a funny feeling.. i can imagine myself in the amusment park.. paid my ticket for a roller coaster ride. Not knowing if i'll enjoy it. Sat down with my anxiety running wide, waiting for the ride to jus take my breathe away.

Running thru my head.. all the impressions of a roller coaster rides flashed. Painted a picture of how it's supposed to feel. The anticipation.. emotional build up.. holding my breathe..and lots of laughter and relief when it's all over. Thinkin my experience wouldnt differ much from my impression.. i'm looking forward for the ride of my life!

The sound of motor starting woke me from my day dream. Slowly but surely.. my cart moved towards a bend out of my line of sight.. and off i go.

Within minutes.. i'm back.. the sound of the motor slowing down, drawing to a complete stop back at where i began. Needless to say.. it was nothing i ever felt before.. nothing like i thought it would be. Hair is a little messy.. heart still pumping alittle fast.. my hands still gripped tightly on the handle in front of me.

I wasnt smiling. Not that i wasnt happy.. but i wasnt smiling. There's a certain allure that draws me back to relish the sensations of the ride. Some i loved( the adrenaline and all the fresh anticipation of something i yearn to try).. some i regretted(unprepared twist and turns.. fear and dissapointment inflicted).. some that brought me down(It probably didnt meet my expectation). I know i wasnt satisfied. However, i told myself i'm not gonna try anymore. Scared? probably. I'm afraid the second time will end up the same.

Ended up wondering around the amusment park.. holding my remaining tickets. Wondering where i should spend it instead. Somehow.. i gravited back to the roller coaster ride. Memories of the ride still fresh in my head. The allure draws me in again. The next thing i know is i'm queuing for the ride again.

Long line of people in front of me.. people sitting on the seat that i was seated jus a moment ago. Still comtemplating if i made the right choice.

Now.. it's my turn. Sitting back at the same seat i was before. i looked ahead. here i ago again. All i hope is tat this time.. i return with wat i was looking for.

Too soon to tell.

My hands gripped tightly on the handle once again.

Jus plain comfortable. Nothing more.. nothing less

Finding it hard to pen down abt last night.. couldnt find the words. Probably i was a little taken aback and overwhelmed by how comfortable it was.. the company.. the musical.. it was all amazing.

I was actually gonna break sweat in the air-conditioned mrt station before she came. No idea wat to expect. My heartbeat, besides being irritatingly faster than usual.. it was beating way harder. Standing in a corner.. only to realise i was like 30mins too early.. but already.. my eyes were looking around jus in case.

I know myself.. these are the early signs of freaking out. For wat? i really hav no idea. I jus stood there.. waiting.

The next thing i know.. i caught a glimps of her in the crowd. The sight of her drowned out my heart beat. A rush of calm washes thru my body. Then i suddenly forgotten why i was nervous in the first place. It was comfortable.. tat familar face.

Dinner.. chat.. trip to the indoor stadium.. Havent felt this way for a long time. This "nothing else matters" kindda feeling. i'm jus glad i'm with good company.

Musical was great.. even though the story's a little lame. But jacky Cheng made it all up with his voice. I was in awe! my first time listening to him Live! It's worth every single buck of the ticket. Too bad we were seated right at the very last row of the stadium. Jacky Cheng was smaller than my thumb from where i saw it. ha. But still.. really enjoyed every moment of the night. Tune stucked in my head.. secret glances to my right. Especially the glances.

I dun know how to put it.. but honestly.. nothing seems important enough to deserve a mention here tonight. Cos all i remember of last night.. was probably the company. Thank God it was nothing like i tot it'll be.

Jus plain comfortable. Nothing more.. nothing less. i'm jus glad you're around. : )

Morning Babble

so soon.. it's fri again. Dont know if i should dread todae.. or be excited abt it. In case u dun know.. i'm watching Snow.Wolf.Lake tonight.

Past few nights ppl called me.. curious to know wats goin on.. and i realised i probably made a fool of myself online. Didnt know ppl actually reads my blog.ha. Then the next thing thats hits me.. What if she reads my blog too??

This is the ultimate blogging dlilemma .. suddenly felt to urge to take down watever i said abt her in this blog. I know i know.. there's no way i can be selective abt who reads my blog. But i dun wanna have to be "sensitive" abt wat i say here, excluding details.. blurring up the truths. Then this would be a politically correct statement board.

I asked myself.. wat is the purpose of this blog? I named it Silent Witness with the impression of this blog witnessing the ups and downs and hipccups in my life. Sitting here silent in cyber space.. storing my memories and my thoughts, my opinions and nevertheless... my complaints.

Articles in newspapers abt bloggers are not an uncommon sight recently.. bloggers getting into trouble with the law for passing racist remarks.. bloggers making politically insensitive statements.. etc etc. But i realised alot of them are making statements to shock or to up the entertainment value of their blogs. I have to admit some of them writes really well and i'm not ashamed to confess i really enjoy reading them.

However.. i'm not the same. Not that i dun wanna make out of this world statements and have a hugh following of readers waiting to read wat i blog everyday. I simply cant. I'm not an established writer nor do i have the capacity to capture the interest and attention of netizens.

Knowing where i stand.. i understood that this isnt exactly my cup of tea. Not that i dun drink tea.. jus tat i'm not a connoisseur of this sort of tea. ha. (Understand wat i mean?)

So i decided right from the start to stay out of this race.. dun wanna write for the sake of viewership or to entertain the ppl who reads this. But in turn.. i hope whoever reads my blog could get to know me alittle better.

Anyhow... i'm still appreciative to anyone who bothers to take time off to read my 5cents worth of rubbish. Thanks.

Decided not to take down any post.. if she ever reads it.. well.. it's a little embarrassing, but sorry i cant help it.

I Remember

Jus goin thru some concepts for how my Division Commander's farewell video is gonna be like.. kept thinking along the line of makin it upbeat and funny and light hearted. well.. alittle like those i've seen before.

Boring.

As the idea brews.. a theme suddenly hits me. "I Remember.." . i think i know wat i wanna do with the video. I dun wanna jus be a factory churning out lame videos ppl will never remember. More ever.. i quite like my current divCom. He's suave.. looks really smart and really carries himself very well. Quite the commander that commands respect.ha.

I want ppl who comes to the farewell to take back something. Especially him. It's decided! It's gonna be emotional.(hmm..a whole bunch of old army fellas getting emotional.ha. imagine that!!)

But then again.. it's not really up to me to decide. I'll propose anywae.

You maDe mY DaY!

Mixed feelings yesterdae.. had rashes all over my body.. must be something i ate. couldnt sleep.. itching all over. sianz. But something happened and soothed all the itch and pain. I asked..she said yes. She made my dae.. or rather my night. Still itchy? yes.. but i couldnt care less.

I know it's nothing major.. but still.. feels great. Suddenly felt silly looking at myself losing sleep over it. Was it the rash or was it her? Its probably abit of both. Snap out of it! Not gonna let this get to my head.

Fri's the day. Honestly.. i'm really excited. and maybe a little scared. But wat am i afraid of? There isnt supposed to be any expectation. It's jus a concert. I'm supposed to enjoy myself. Why do i feel this silly pressure to be at my best? i guess i've been thinking too much.
Way too much.

I'm jus too glad it happened. Even if it's not gonna mean anything.. you made my dae. :)

AHM 21km

yes... i'm back home after the 21km run. not as bad as i thought. Or maybe the pain havent kicked in yet. hee.

~

No doubt i'm still tired out. Nope.. didnt hit the passing timing.. but it doesnt really matter. I think i probably could run in the passing timing if i try alittle harder.. but i didnt wanna push my body so hard..it's quite a big jump cos the furthest i ever ran was 12km. I stopped at 16km and took a quick stroll all the way back to the finishing line. ha. feels pretty good.

~

My first ever marathon.. feels more like a social event rather. Thousands and thousands of ppl gathered in the wee hours at the padang.. all in their shorts and singlets. Relectant faces were few.. i'm surprised. The horn sounds off.. the marathon flags on.. the congestions was so bad tat we had to walk for 2km before we actually had space to start running.

~

The next thing i know, i became a social butterfly. Along the way when we hit the ECP, friends and familar faces started poping along my sides.. BMT platoon mates.. SISPEC friends... poly buddies. I'm amazed at how much everyone had grown but yet still stays the same. Renjie still spots the signature botak hair style.. Yap still small and petite. A gush of memories flooding in.. chatting abt the past.. catching up on the present. Suddenly i've forgotten abt the pain and fatigue.

~

I really thank God that i have a big circle of friends.. didnt realised it till when i was hopping from groups to groups. Though i ran on without my cliche(*guilty) but i was never really alone running. Thank You Lord! couldnt have done it without You!

~

NExt year.. i'm coming again..gonna make sure i run under 2hr and 30mins. ha. not very fast..but tats abt all i can do. I'm not born to run.. this i know. but i'm not born to fail either.

~

Never really understood how anyone can enjoy running when it's such a painful process to me. But i decided to take another approach to it. i believe that the only way i'm ever gonna enjoy running is when i there is a deserving purpose to it! I'm not gonna try improve my timing... i'm gonna try improve the contentment level. every step i take.. i'm gonna make it count. i want to be running for something.. for someone. Probably sounds silly to you eh.. doesnt really matter. as long a it means something to me.

~

my first ever half marathon.. yes i'm dead tired.. but looking forward to it already.

*touches my forehead with the back of my palm*

am i sick? dun seem so.. then wats this feeling i'm feeling now.. shucks.. feels cold from within.. like i'm dreading something. goin back to camp maybe? been a long time since i dread goin back to camp. Feel like reporting sick and shun Ex Diamond Link. Not that i dun enjoy army.. think it really is the Justin factor.. pisses me off. Never had to work so stressed out in army before, so undignified. I know there's nothing to be afraid of.. i keep telling myself that, but my heart still pumps double quick time. My guess.. it's a combination of stress.. frustrations.. fear.. fatigue and morale.

Sickening feeling

Thank God i made it thru last week.. hell of a week. Rushing thru one thing to another. Bunt my fingers cooking noodles..*stupid* @_@. Honestly.. i dun really know wat happened last week.. all i know is i was damn tired and lost. Couldnt find the momentum. But i know this week is not gonna be any easier. So help me God!

Dun like the fact that my blog is filled with complaints.. but thats all i can muster now.. Rite now.. even if i was to meet with an accident or fall ill and stay out of action for a while would be a good thing. it's sad.. i wished more happy things hits me this week.

Oh ya..i think i'm goin to Australia, Wallaby this coming Nov for a month! Quite excited abt it. but i'll be goin alone.. thats a good thing too i guess. Foreign land.. stranger friends.. Windy sands... happy Dan! hah.. it better be.

Nothing compares... Nothing to compare

looking around the room for tat familar face.. Nope.. not there anymore. I know i know.. it's pathetic, but still.. it's hard not to look. i dun even remember why i'm doin this.

ever tried so hard to forget someone that you forgotten why u are trying? Maybe it became a habit falling for u. i know i shouldnt. i know.i think i know.. do i know? dun think i know anymore.

stuck in a moment.. laddened by the past. nothing compares. nothing to compare.

i still remember how it felt. close to you.. feathers in my heart. You light up the room.. u light up the world.. u light up my heart. Feel like i'm an addict. Hooked to that feeling. Cold turkey not helping. substitution end up hurting.. not me. i'm sorry.

Cant think straight.. broken thoughts..Highlight of week.. company exercise shake up.. set up drill..again..and again. felt like a dog.. wet.. sweaty.. tired.. demoralised. Next day...10km run..2 weeks from now.. 21km..run? dun think so.. drag myself across the finish line. Arms breaking.. legs falling apart.. scared and afraid ... wat's to come? More of justin's bullshit.. hang in there. Buy food.. one last time.. make it thru.. waiting for Paradise. Paradise now!

finally.

Weird Dreams From Bintan

yep.. i'm back from bintan.. took a break from Singapore.. dropped by bintan with phoebe.

Went there with one thing on my mind.. to clear my head and prepare wats to come. Not too bad for me.. sea breeze and white sands(not exactly white though), Jet ski and sun tan.. Think i probably bore phoebe to death.haha.(if u're reading this.. sorry babe!) Didnt feel like doin much over there.. pretty excited abt the seas though! ha.. too bad phoebe not very into the idea of soaking in sodium and i'm not very into the idea of floating around alone in the seas either. hee.

~~~

Weird Dream
had a weird dream over there on sunday night.. bought a couple of beers (Bintang! Indonesia's local beer) watching Chelsea vs Arsenel on ESPN! Tot it's gonna be easier to sleep with with beer..*buzzer* wrong.. kept me awake all night! kept having werid dreams. Woke up puzzled.. dreamt that this cat came over to talk to me.. telling me of this conspircy that the resort staff are having and that i'm being watched! my reaction : "HUH?!" He dragged me into its car.. interesting sight to see a cat driving with it's paw.

The cat looks like Garfield on Silm10.. skinny.. wide eyed.. weird.. he told me to :"Shut up and listen! i'm driving u to somewhere safe!" Behind me.. i could see huge beams of seach lights shining down as if prisoners escaped from a prison. i looked at the cat... it didnt say it's name. Now squinting its eyes..intently driving.. swishing thru the roads to avoid detection from the giant search beams.

I wonder the nature of this kidnap... where the hell is this talkin cat bringing me to? Can i trust it? Then it spoke again.. i was expecting the motion.. but not the content. "Before we get outta this place.. i need to pick up my sidekick! Damn! where the hell is he?!"the cat said, scaning intensely peering thru the windscreen. An accomplice? Now i'm wondering if i'm on drugs.. wat kindda bullshit is this? i know i'm imaginative.. but this is totally outragous! I swear anymore bullshit coming from this cat..i'm gonna throw it out of the car myself!

Rite when tat thought came in.. an old voice creeped up from the hind seats! "i'm here already!"it said. Startled.. i turned my head back only to throw myself aback! I should have know.. the cat's accomplice is a olg hagged looking dog!!

i knew i went too far. must be something i ate! ha

I shoke myself awake.. next thing i know.. i was on my bed. 2:30am. i'm so glad i'm dreaming. i didnt go back to sleep. Washed my face in the basin.. feeling that cold fluid running across my face.. reminded me of that vivid impression of the talkin cat.

honestly.. it was kindda cute

~~~

Excuse me..are u a movie star?

Second morning on the island.. i was enjoying my last complimentry breakfast from the resort with phoebe.

Looking at all the good food there is.. except tat i sort of remembered that they cooked the same stuff the last morning as well. I hope it's not left overs that i'm eating. hee.

From experience.. i helped myself to it's scrambled eggs and sausages. Trial and tested i thought.

Jus when i was digging away at the food.. this hotel staff came over and spoke to me. A typical hotel staff it seemed.. offering his services to me, or i tot so. He looked at me ever so ernest..almost with a sparkle in his eye. I wondered if he wanted to offer a hand with the food.

"Excuse me.. are u a movie star?" he asked.

A half filled plate on one hand.. one full scope of eggs on another.. a completely empty mind up in my head. What did he jus say?? was he speaking some foreign language i didnt understand? Am i suppose to answer his question? was that a real question in the first place?

I stood there stunned for a moment.. i glanced at him.. he seemed to be expecting a reply. "Er.. nope. Not movie star." i gave him my million dollar smile for what's it's worth. Seem to hav lost my command of english for a moment. Wat the hell was he thinking? He probably says this to all his resort guest, i tot.

As dramatic as it can be.. the saga continues. He caught me off guard again.. "OOOOHH... but you're so handsome! i tot u are movie star. so u here on honeymoon?" ok.. now i'm embarrassed.First he says i'm good looking.. now he says i'm married. I rather he jus scoped my eggs for me and leave.

"Er.. Nope.. not married. jus holiday. Thanks" i turned away and made my way back to my seat. i could almost feel his smile on my back.

Back at our seats.. had a good laugh at it. Movie star! ha. Wonder how many tourist fell for that. but it's a nice tot eh. Hee

you're beautiful.. it's true

yes yes.. it's been some time.. i've got lots of things i wanna share.. most of them are nagging and complaints abt the circumstances and ppl around me. but something wonderful happened to me this week that overwritten all those complaints and smacked a smile on my face...maybe a sigh too.

went over to my grandma's place for dinner on national day.. havent visited her for some time already. bought her fav roast duck over. After dinner i was jus flipping thru my stuff in her place. I left lots of stuff over at her place.. cos i sort of stored my stuff there for the time being when i move to my sengkang place. Found my brother's guitar.. some books i was looking for.. and more importantly.. i found a metal box sitting dusty in a corner.

This box couldnt be more familiar with me. it's a box where i kept bits and pieces of my past. Letters.. birthday cards.. vanlentine cards.. short notes.. small presents and more importantly.. my diary! ha. I brought the box back home with me.. with clear intentions not to open it up. i knew wat will happen if i did. Every other time that i did.. history and emotions hits me so hard. so hard tat it hurts.. of the friends i lost.. silly things i've done.. promises i made.. chances i missed.. love i found.. and lost again.

i left it quietly beside the CPU below my desk. jus wanting to keep it close. But as fate has it.. i was all alone at home on Thursday night.. mum and brother went out. Yep.. u guessed it right.. i tot about relinquishing a little history. I picked up the rusty box cover in dust. Lay it on my lap and opened it up.

there's a funny expectation everytime i open it up.. i'll be thinking that some divine light will shine from inside like a treasure box from some hollywood movie! ha.Nope.. everytime i'd be disappointed. But still.. even without the "divine" light.. the content is enough to shine a light in my heart.

Surprised that the contents are left exactly the way it was the last time i visited. Right on top of the stack is this old exercise book. I knew wat it was.. it was a diary... my diary. I flipped thru the pages wondering wat i wrote in them. I'm so glad nobody's home that night to spoil this little private moment. i was laughing.. close to tears.. feelin this close proximity to the author.. seeing how i used to be and who i have become. The memories were breath taking!

Only a handful of entries in the 3 years of the diary.. i guess i was a man if little words. but when i wrote.. it was always writing abt the same subject.. this one girl in my life. I felt like i was brought back to the past. Seeing this poor little boy fall head over heels for this specky little girl. Finding a million and one reasons to feel bad about himself. Always thinkin if he ever meant anything to that little girl.. finally finding his way to her heart as they grow up.. Even in the relationship he's mind clouded in revery.. finally losing her.. finally figuring how he'd lose someone so dear.

Such are the memories that made me realised that after 6 years.. no doubt i've grown.. but somehow i cant help but feel i'm back to square one. All those emotions depicted so long ago seemed ever so fresh. Specky little girl no longer specky.. little boy no longer who he used to be.. things dun seem so simple anymore. But the questions remains the same. Will that silent reverence in the teengae boy's heart ever be heard? Maybe it's about time.

Don't know what you do to me but

Everytime I'm with you it's a natural high

It's like re-discovering Eden

with chocolate -coated rainbows

and cotton candy skies

And everytime you look my way

I wish I had the guts to say

There's something in your eyes

Something in your smile

Something in the way you move me

You make me want to sing

Make me want to dance

Make me want to cry

I'm falling in love with you.

Not supposed to be here..

yep.. i'm in camp.. 1230am.. supposed to be workin now.but wat the hell.. got the whole night to work away. decided to spend a few mins recounting todae. hee.

last min notice tat my toopid CO wants to see the changes on mon morning. First reaction:" WAT?" it's Sat already and he expects the things to be done by mon. he thinks he really the Emperor ah! haiz. maybe he is.. but even if he is.. he sucked as one!

decided to come back tonight and do up some infra-structure for tml so when marcus and adraine comes in they can more efficeintly start work right away. Quite at a lost of wat to do also. HELP!

wanted to go book my advance driving test date this morning.. i said wanted. Apparently i could wake up in time. ha. had breakfast with mummy and made my way down to the padang. dunno why i there also. jus kept talking to ppl and sleeping. Only till around 12 plus then smo broke the BAD(bad is an understatement) news to me. i understand their predicament.. nothing much they can do as well. Gave up complaining and gave in to the fact tat i coming back to camp le.Sianz.

Went to cell after tat.. finished cell.. asked mushi to give me a ride somewhere nearer to camp.. he dropped me at bukit panjang. :(.......... haha. dropped off with gemi and ah liang. went to top up some "batteries" for tonight. Ah liang suggested having supper.. so grabed a bit with them. Ate mac.. all nuggets.. semi conductors.. bose.. next moment i'm on a busy back to camp. Nice feeling though. i mean the supper.. not the bus ride back to hell.ha. Familar sentiments. Funny feeling..

Not gonna make it to church tml.. shucks.. wished i could be there.take care ppl! dun forget abt me ya. Gonna miss the soccer match as well. haiz. My sundays are reserved! toopid army.. toopid CO. screw my schedule. haiz. okok.. gotta learn to quit complaining. better get back to work le.

-OuT-

Kakashi

interesting day.. saw the true "evil" face of my CO. ha. wasted my 2 weeks working on the sponsorship videos and the first things he said when i saw the video was " WAT'S TAT!?" Saw my S3,(a major) kena big time from my CO. sianz. Tot he some scholar ..quiet quiet.. didnt know he so unreasonably demanding. Good thing he's leaving soon. Phew.. good thing i leaving soon too. gonna hand things over. dunno how they gonna cope after the handing over. well.. nothing much i can do now.. i've got Ex Diamond Link to bother about.hee

Today couldnt do much..practically all i did was make some phone calls. thats all. my video has been put on hold at the moment. nothing much i can do. Ended up lookin thru the iinternet for naruto manga! ha. Unfortunately only one new episode came out. Finished it in a jif.. and i'm hungry for naruto again. had this wacky idea of doin wall papers for naruto. you know.. those fan art thingie. So i decided to do a wallpaper of my fav character from the anime series..KAKASHI!!! haha

Went in seach of graphics of his posture of he doin some seals or he doin his famous Chidori. found some really low res pics.. added my touch to it. Quite amazed i still have wat it takes.. took me a little longer.. but it was pretty good.

Instant wallpaper of Kakashi San!

Here it is.. if u want the wall paper jus let me know. I'll send it over to u

not too bad eh. ha.

-OuT-

Holland bound!

hee.. goin off work soon.. matter of mins actually.
gonna meet xav and silin for dinner at HollandV. think we goin for laksa or something. lalalala.
after Holland.. i'm Home BOUND!!! ha.

ByE WoRlD!~

alittle crazy todae.. sort of lost my way on my way home.. not literally lost. i knew where i was.. but i didnt know where i was goin. ha. walked right out of the train station and headed for the supermarket, grabbed one of those green basket from cold storage and started shopping for groceries. ha. not something i'd do often. On my way back.. there was this sale for Levis underwear.. dun ask me why.. i bought a box. i jus kept buying irrelevant stuff.

didnt get much work done todae.. didnt feel like doin. damn sick of workin on the same damn video for so many days. I'll carry on tml then. nothing interesting todae. sad.

finishing up on my book soon. I got funny reading habits. like to read the lines over and over again till the whole flavour of the scene is in my head! ha. then as i read on i'll start to drift off. My eyes will keep scaning the pages.. but my mind has already taken the story and ran off in its own rendition. hee. before i know it.. i'm re-reading the pages again. ha. damn slow to read. but thats the way i like it.

still nobody's home. brother on night shift.. mummy went out. yawn. on the phone with jane for the past hour or two.. watched Bleech episode42! ha. pathatic lifestyle.. but no worries.. it's gonna get better. i dun know how.. but it's gonna get better.(*fingers crossed)

stupid blangdesh!

been a while since my last post.. took half a day off todae.. jus got home so better grab sometime to update a littlle.

well..my mum's finally comin back from Korea.. running off to the airport to pick her up. At times like this.. i'm asking myself why oh why didnt i jus go get my driving licence.. jus couldnt bother eh. Knowing u dun have a licence when u ought to really sucks! ha. Now pay the price daniel!!

Trying to read up on the train on my way home.. almost done with my Deception Point, now at the part where William Pickering is dead in the rubbles of his flaming car that took a direct hit from a Hellfire missile fire at rifle distance by the deadly Delta Force on a helicopter rite in the heart of the US capitol, Washinton D.C while Rachael Sexton and Tolland heads toward the Goya(Tolland's research ship) in a pit stop to the capitol!! ha. i doubt many of you knows wat the hell i'm talkin abt. but it doesnt really matter does it?? it my blog ya! whaha

Not that i'm racist or anything..(i've got no prejudice against their race... ok.. i've got not much prejudice for most of their race). Stunned and humiliated by a blangdesh worker outside my camp last friday.. "trumatic" event tat made me laugh at myself. Let me recount the event. all i remember is that i booked outta camp fri afternoon.. saw my bus 182 approaching the bus stop and i made a fultle run to catch the bus.It's quite a stretch but i gave chase anywae. RIte before the bus stop, there's this blangadesh worker doin some road works. Apparently i didnt catch my bus. i slowed to a slow jog seeing my bus moving off without me. The next thing shocked me. That blangadesh work actually made the effort walked up the pavement and laughed at me.. obviously for missing the bus!!! (*he was pointing at the departing bus and pointing at me laughing like a hyena!!) Who the hell does that kindda things!!

Freaked out! was that a hostile gesture?! Apparent he havent tasted the sole of my boots! hah. but i was in awe.. amazed at his courage to laugh at my misfortune. All i managed was an artificial smile that i'm sure he could make out the sublime meaning of my smile...(You better watch it dude!)wahah. but i guess it didnt really matter to him eh. i probably made his day.

Fly Away

When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer
to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
Silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Corrinne's debut

1.Fly Away
2. Same Side of the Moon
3. Something About You
4. Fall to Fly
5. If You Didnt Love Me
6. Stay on the Road
7. Mr Beasley
8. All that i Need
9. Walk away
10. Will You Remember Me
11. Journey
12. Mr Beasley(Unplugged)

opening my box of choc!!

opening choc has nv been so rewarding before.. not until now.

u will nv imagine the kind of anticipation for something u know u wont regret doin! ha
all this for a piece of chocolate

Amazing!

chased out of the library when i was having a little tea discussion with Xavier at compass point. Guess they were closing and we didn't care. We jus carry on sip our tea at the corner of the cafe..ha. Met up with xav regarding work again.. things are forming up..again.. we had a little fun..again.

wats new?

i gotta get something done.. really tired.. havent been sleeping much lately. late nights(around 1 plus 2 am).. Wee early mornings(like 5 plus am!!) and i hardly got time to breathe in office. really need a break soon.. soon i hope.

Actually wanted to ask ppl out for a movie.. but i hardly got the time. sianz. so many movies that i missed out. always got things to do..somewhere to go. Am i really that busy or am i jus tryin to make myself look busy? i never know.

Gemi and Vida bought me chocolate from Royce todae.. apparently it has to be refridgerated. looks really delicate.. how to eat?? looks expensive. cant believe i'm eating my present. ha. Xav reminded me of my silly idea of "gold plating" the choc. then can keep forever. ha. silly. wanted to do tat to a present from gemi when i was in sec sch. Looking back now.. how silly can i get? ha.

obviously very silly.

~~~

wat if i spoke and you couldnt hear a sound
wat if i turn and you're not around
wat if my love is returned when it's given
wat if i cant find a place to settle down

it's not the first time, not even close
it's probably not worth it, but i'll never know
but i see you turned into a gust of dust
my secret fantasy gone in a single blow
~~~

The only constant is change

they say that the only constant is change..

busy start of the week.. havent had enough sleep. intensely staring into my monitor at work.. so engross that my mind was floating away. Then it hit me.. how did i get here? the last time i check..i was still a poly student with floppy hair.. sloppy shirts. Now i'm here in green. starring at a stupid computer screen.(it wasnt meant to ryhme).

wondering how i have changed over the year.. my fingers still clicking on the mouse.. eyes still starring.. mind still wondering. It couldnt be more true. i'm not the same person i was.. or rather.. i'm not who i appeared to be. I hardly know who daniel really is. Probably i nv found out before. change is the only constant.

i like to look at myself in a third person's point of view.. looking at how daniel response to situation. looking at his strength and deficiencies.. getting to know myself everydae. but still.. he surprises me everytime he

runs away. Wondering wat he's thinking. wondering wat i ought to be thinking. thru the times.. it's nv the same.

think it's about time i give up thinking of who i ought to become and be who i'm meant to be. i've got better things to be doin than jus lookin at myself. i wanna look to Him..i'm wanna look at people around me.. i want people to see Him when they look at me. Change is the only constant? LOrd You're the only constant in my life.

And i welcome You.

my NINJA TURTLE drawn by Grace! ha..not bad eh.. now it sits quietly beside my monitor. ha. One mistake though.. Izznt the head band suppose to cover the eyes as well? haha. nvm..makes it one of a kind..even more special rite! ha

my new key chain.. anyone wanna name my new dog? ha

Old as it is... still my fav dog.. Yours Truly!

BooM!

was at the NDP final rehearsal yesterdae.. shooting some ndp footages for 3signal.
spent my whole dae there for that 2 hour's event. only the fireworks was worthwhile.

Been sometime since i saw fireworks. At least 2 years plus i guess. Quite an amazing sight still everytime i see one.took some snap shots of the fireworks while i was filming.

Met this photographer uncle who was vieing for my position to shoot some shots of the F16. ha. Flaunting his Nikkon DSLR .. but quite a nice guy i must say. Lots of babes in the spectators too! hee. but they all come in pairs.. haiz.

Safe in a CrAzY World

1. Little Superhero Girl

2. Save Me

3. Free

4. Everything In Its Time

5. Safe In A Crazy World

6. Let It Go

7. Angel In Disguise

8. If I Kissed You

9. The Birthday Song

10. Every Beat Of My Heart

11. Free (Radio Edit)

www.corrinnemay.com

Everything in its time

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


ok.. i'm no longer pissed anymore. :)

Yesterdae was a day of mixed emotions..rage..sympathy.. joy.. and relief. And in the end of it all.. music made my dae.

Yesterdae started out to be one of the worst daes i had in ages. Me getting sick.. ppl pissing me off.. work pulling me apart. yada yada. U know the story. Jus wanted to get the dae over and done with.. on my way back home from TP for a collection. Only one thing on my mind.. my bed.

Amazingly.. i was still on bus 87, i'm sure tv mobile's not showing anything musical.. but i kept hearing corrinne may in my head.. -The Birthdae Song by Corrinne May.(cliche! ha) I dun even know where the heck i heard it before. It's jus stuck to my head. Then this suggestion came to me.. "How about i buy myself a cd?" Damn.. how lamentable is that.. buying yourself a birthdae gift. ha. but i really cant help it.. her voice is calling.

I only heard of Corrinne's songs on the radio around 2 months back.. was wondering who is that beautiful voice. Stunted me for awhile. Been asking around.. no one seems to know who she is. Finally after 2 weeks of asking.. i got a name. "I think it's Corrinne May or something" somebody told me.

As the pirate i am.. i'm determined to download every available song she has on the internet! hee. But i didnt. not that i didnt want to. Seems to hav some divine intervention that keeps preventing me from downloading her songs. when i'm at my computer.. i kept forgetting her name.. no kidding! ha. hours became daes..daes become months. i'm back on bus 87 without Corrinne.

I was still down with a bad flu and fever.. but first thing i did once i alighted was drag my weary body to the nearest cd shop. Not sure i knew wat i wanted to buy. i only had a name. Corrinne May. There it is.. she lays silent on the rack. I was looking at her..she looking down in her cd cover like she knows i'm lookin. I could almost hear her humming to me. "i'll take this" i told the counter girl. The fastest cd purchase i even made.

Reached home..took a bath.. popped some pills. Slipped the cd into the player. Now i understand why music heals. Laying on my bed.. track 1.. 2.. reading the lyrics.. getting to know the voice i've been curious for so long. So beautiful.. not only the voice.. but the lyrics walks right up to me. Been a long time since a song brought a tear to my eye. No.. not becos the song is sad or it caught a string in my heart.. simply becos it's so real.. so beautiful and hopeful. I knew she must be a Christian. I checked..she is. i'm not suprised.

My God is interesting.. jus when i needed a song.. he puts an album into my life.ha. Thanks you Jesus.

Pissed

not a good day.. not a good day at all.. i woke up with a slight fever and a sore throat.. work is piling.. i'm late for work.. and the thing that really pisses me off is that 2 of the guys from my office took off when there is work to be done. And trust me.. i know they've got nothing important to do.

i've had enough of their attitude! i'm supposed to assisting them becos of their inexperience. that i understand. but they dun seem to have any sense of urgency or pride in their work. THat.. i cannot stand.

Sitting here..breathing fire.. not sure if it's becos i'm having a fever or becos i'm really so damn pissed!!! I havent been so pissed for a quite a while. Really feel like slaming the CPU on the floor! i think it's not gonna help..but i'm jus damn pissed.

wats so happy about birthdaes when ppl around me pisses me off all the same.

pissed

old blog

realised i had a blog.. tot it's not working anymore. only 4 or 5 entries in it i think.
all written in 2003 when i was still having my attachment at Litespeed. pretty funny and embaressing to read it now though..ha. Short as it may be.. i dun wanna lose this memory. http://erewwe.blogspot.com/. To think that all this while i tot i didnt have a blog.ha.

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dying here without a song. Thats the last thing i wanna do. As much as i'd like to..

i seem to be left out cold without a song. Yes.. life goes on.. but life without tat note..that melody.. that tune tat's stuck to the back your head.. life without all tat sucks.

Feels like i'm caught in a mime.. a silent movie. Nothing seemed to mean anything anymore.

I know it's not true.

i know i gotta find back that song!

SentimentaL rEasons

~It is not who you are.. its who i am when i'm with you...~

0040am... Yep.. i know.. it's the weekends again. jus came back home.. with a half written msg on my phone ... which once again will never reach it's intended recipient.

2 days since my last entry.. had a hectic weekend.. talking.. debating.. counseling.. sharing.. listening..walking.. staring.. rushing.. laughing and crying. So much had happend. i guess only so much CAN happen.

Fri night came back starving.. didnt have lunch tat dae. But nv fear! my wonderful mummy cooked up curry awaiting for me to come home!! ha. thank God for her. she didnt even know if i was coming home.. but she cooked the curry jus in case i came home hungry.. and i did. ha. It was delicious! had like half the pot of curry for myself.. picked up some bottled drink from the fridge to drink. Turns out the green apple flavoured drink is volka! ha. taste really good though. But one major prob.. i was so full and tipsy tat i knocked out after a nap at 8 pm.ha. the next moment i opened my eyes was sat morning already. wat a way to sleep the night away.

Met up with Ted and Xav to consolidate some admin stuff for ASK in the late morning. However.. when we presented the idea informally to mushi.. the feedbacks were not too inviting. Alot of our proposal is assumtion i guess. Had to re-adjust the proposal to match the cricumstances. cant say much abt it here though.. jus quite disapointed. Guess it might be a good thing that he raised the issues early.. or the impact might have been far worst. Nevertheless.. i know God wants the best for his ministry.. and i know i gotta give my best shot at this. Not gonna be disheartened by a little setbacks.. i'm gonna grow from experience to experience.. from strength to strength. Till i get it rite..

Grace passed me my birthdae present todae.. hee. ( THankS BaBY!!!) She actually made this card with this skipping ninja turtle on it.( ha. my fav emoticon!!) It has nv came across to me that she had any incline in the arts. ha. she's proven me wrong though.ha. Now the ninja turtle sits quietly besides my monitor.ha. It better not start skipping.. or i'll freak out! ha. Oh! and there's this keychain that took me awhile to figure how i'm suppose to put my keys into it.haha. It's got this interesting little metal dog on it.. now my key bunch got more keychains than keys le.ha. Got dog barking at the frog.. then got special forces on some surf sign.. and some cross hanging around. ha. Very much appreciated! thanks again baby. : )

Ate dinner at some new burger joint called Carls Jr or soemthing... the burgers are BIG! ha. taste great too. BK.. WATCH YOUR BACK! hah. Still remember the tagline for one of it's flyer goes :" She says size doesnt matters. She's lying!" ha.You bet she's lying! The burger's so big i can hardly bite the height of the burger! ha. Had a great heart to heart talk with gerald and lester.. hanged around chating abt things happening around us and issues closer to our hearts.. u know. ha. been ages since we poured out. Feels really good after tat.. knowing we have friends to share our burdens.

Went bowling after tat. 2 rounds of bowl and my finger still hurts. ha. my first round really sucked.. the second was much better with a score of 128 after the stupid computer recored an extra strike in my last frame.. ha. Wonderful to be bowling again! Saw tat time was still early.. we made our way to BAYBEATS2005! ha. some pretty crappy bands and outragous dressing. Ppl all trying to make a fashion statement of some kind. only me in my silly ARMY t-shirt,.ha. Copeland and Concave Scream sound pretty good! didnt hear much from the rest though.. feeling a little numb for loud music anywae. so here i am again.. back at my monitor slapping away on the keyboard. ha

Better take an early nap.. gotta wake up early for work tml.. yawn.

Yawn.. jus woke up to the sound of Scout Styre and M16s plasting off! bang bang bang! 1:36pm.
Michael Jackson playing CS now.. the IMT room now looks practically like a lan shop. Thats life in camp for them.

Think my CO is the most overrated CO in the army. Gave us this 2hr speech this morning regarding safety in training as a follow up action to the string of unfortunate deaths in the armed forces within the 5 weeks. It was unbearable...! So unengaging. All he needed was 15mins to reassure us that SAF hasnt slacken in safety.. and he took 2 hours to bore me to sleep.Commanding Officer..*pui*

Chatted with Ben on MSN this morning.. been really quite some time since we contacted each other le..really brings back memories man. Told him we'll meet up to catch up after Jason is back from Australia visiting his girl.. hee. Dun know if Seow will join us. I really hope he will. Put all those grudges behind us.. its really not worth it.

Jus remembered i had to draw out the proposal for presentation regarding ASK ministries. Hasnt been myself lately.. suddenly dun feel so involve even though i know i need to do something. Gonna find somewhere tonight to think it thru..not home though.. i'll probably sleep.

Argh!!! i'm so bored... the guys are watching some horror movie now.. Doll Master or something. Rather have something constructive to do than to scare myself. Forgotten to bring my wallet out todae.. so hungry. i havent had my lunch yet..haiz. gonna go back and hav a good meal.hee. Its the weekends again.. tml i gotta teach chunsi photoshop.. propose to mushi regarding ASK i hope..cell..wat else? sick.. i gotta get a life! i wonder if i can buy one from ebay.ha.

Went out with chun last night..accompanied her to the library to find some of her reference book. She's so funny..nv seen her so worked up for sch before.. she seemed quite stressed up.. no use asking her to lighten up, she'll jus blow up even faster.ha. At dinner she told me all about her 24 new friends in class.. which none is normal. Somehow she makes it seem like they either have some superhuman ability or some super stylo past or some crazy lifestyle.ha. that's Le Salle for you baby! hang in there ya!

Getting cold in there.. gotta go relieve myself.*shivers* hee.Excuse me ya...

BrEAk OuT!

"so little time so much to do..i rather spend my time with you"

2days since i updated my blog.. cant determine if its becos i havent got anything to write or i dun know where to start.

Its pretty irritating working with the people in my office.. all so irresponsible.. pushing work away whenever they can. They think that i'm garrang or something becos i'm a regular.. but the truth is, i take pride in my job.
i know i cant expect them to go outta the way to get the job done.. but at least have the courtesy to churn out the mininum effort that's required of them. Sometimes i'm so glad that i'm goin back to my company line.

Pretty hectic morning.. alots of things cropped up with the video codecs for some segments we did for the national day parade. had to troubleshoot and re-export a whole bunch of stuff. not hard though.. jus troublesome. After that.. had to do a recording of this short narration. Met this guy called Andy in as the voice talent.. speaking with this strong accent. weird thing is he told he he'd nv study abroad before! I guess he probably watched too much tv then. picked up all the ang mo accent.ha. Anywae.. he's disrupting next fri on his way to Hawaii to study! lucky dude.. allthe baywatch girls waiting for him.ha.

Was out for dinner after work with jane.. i couldnt decide where to anchor for dinner.. pissed myself off. Hate it when i dun have the answers. ha. We settled for this open air cafe/resturant rite outside Wisma. Thinks it's called Tazzara or something.. couldnt pronounce half it's menu.ha. wat a joke.. We ordered a pizza.. all i did was point to the waiter to the menu " i think we'll have THIS.." And he jus mumbles some italian name i presume is the pizza's name..i doubt he knows how to pronounce it himself.ha. "Very well sir". Saw silin walking along the street with this guy.. called them back to join us for a chat.. she looks much more alive now.. she always do. Tat sparkle to her eyes.haha. told her she gotta be a PR officer or something. she carries herself very well.. even when she's troubled.ha.

Oh shit..gotta run.. there's this seminar coming up.. last min arrowed as the PA people. better grab a bite before i go. TAtA

LiFe wiLL noT gO uNnoticed

Why do we find company..fall in love..get married? For passions? People fall in love becos we need witnesses to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a relationship, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day.


my days are getting boring by the moment.."hello IMTeam!" picking up phone calls and doing vidz. Tats way below my calibre. feels like i'm wasting my time. All i do everydae is Exporting some videos.. stiching some clips.. watching movies.. sleep..eat. Need some stimulant to my life. Thinking of applying for JCC or AirBorne course. ha.

Really glad Vincent got hitched..finally. That leave me one of the few remaining dudes left on the shelf le.ha. Quite sad actually.. not that i'm left without someone.. its jus tat goin thru this phase in life where ppl expects you to be with somebody. Cant i be single??? Used to tell ppl i'm single by choice.. wat the heck.. i even had to tell myself that. ha.Guess i'm still waiting for that someone to swept me off my feet. ha

Really lookin forward to the Bintan trip with phoebe.. a time to get get away from this little island.. hope i dun screw this up.. phoebe would be really dissapointed if i did.. which i always do. ha. Gonna spend alot of time hibernating over there and catching up and eating!!! ha.

Another boring day tomorrow.. i'll bore you more tml ya..*poof!*