you're beautiful.. it's true
yes yes.. it's been some time.. i've got lots of things i wanna share.. most of them are nagging and complaints abt the circumstances and ppl around me. but something wonderful happened to me this week that overwritten all those complaints and smacked a smile on my face...maybe a sigh too.
went over to my grandma's place for dinner on national day.. havent visited her for some time already. bought her fav roast duck over. After dinner i was jus flipping thru my stuff in her place. I left lots of stuff over at her place.. cos i sort of stored my stuff there for the time being when i move to my sengkang place. Found my brother's guitar.. some books i was looking for.. and more importantly.. i found a metal box sitting dusty in a corner.
This box couldnt be more familiar with me. it's a box where i kept bits and pieces of my past. Letters.. birthday cards.. vanlentine cards.. short notes.. small presents and more importantly.. my diary! ha. I brought the box back home with me.. with clear intentions not to open it up. i knew wat will happen if i did. Every other time that i did.. history and emotions hits me so hard. so hard tat it hurts.. of the friends i lost.. silly things i've done.. promises i made.. chances i missed.. love i found.. and lost again.
i left it quietly beside the CPU below my desk. jus wanting to keep it close. But as fate has it.. i was all alone at home on Thursday night.. mum and brother went out. Yep.. u guessed it right.. i tot about relinquishing a little history. I picked up the rusty box cover in dust. Lay it on my lap and opened it up.
there's a funny expectation everytime i open it up.. i'll be thinking that some divine light will shine from inside like a treasure box from some hollywood movie! ha.Nope.. everytime i'd be disappointed. But still.. even without the "divine" light.. the content is enough to shine a light in my heart.
Surprised that the contents are left exactly the way it was the last time i visited. Right on top of the stack is this old exercise book. I knew wat it was.. it was a diary... my diary. I flipped thru the pages wondering wat i wrote in them. I'm so glad nobody's home that night to spoil this little private moment. i was laughing.. close to tears.. feelin this close proximity to the author.. seeing how i used to be and who i have become. The memories were breath taking!
Only a handful of entries in the 3 years of the diary.. i guess i was a man if little words. but when i wrote.. it was always writing abt the same subject.. this one girl in my life. I felt like i was brought back to the past. Seeing this poor little boy fall head over heels for this specky little girl. Finding a million and one reasons to feel bad about himself. Always thinkin if he ever meant anything to that little girl.. finally finding his way to her heart as they grow up.. Even in the relationship he's mind clouded in revery.. finally losing her.. finally figuring how he'd lose someone so dear.
Such are the memories that made me realised that after 6 years.. no doubt i've grown.. but somehow i cant help but feel i'm back to square one. All those emotions depicted so long ago seemed ever so fresh. Specky little girl no longer specky.. little boy no longer who he used to be.. things dun seem so simple anymore. But the questions remains the same. Will that silent reverence in the teengae boy's heart ever be heard? Maybe it's about time.
yes yes.. it's been some time.. i've got lots of things i wanna share.. most of them are nagging and complaints abt the circumstances and ppl around me. but something wonderful happened to me this week that overwritten all those complaints and smacked a smile on my face...maybe a sigh too.
went over to my grandma's place for dinner on national day.. havent visited her for some time already. bought her fav roast duck over. After dinner i was jus flipping thru my stuff in her place. I left lots of stuff over at her place.. cos i sort of stored my stuff there for the time being when i move to my sengkang place. Found my brother's guitar.. some books i was looking for.. and more importantly.. i found a metal box sitting dusty in a corner.
This box couldnt be more familiar with me. it's a box where i kept bits and pieces of my past. Letters.. birthday cards.. vanlentine cards.. short notes.. small presents and more importantly.. my diary! ha. I brought the box back home with me.. with clear intentions not to open it up. i knew wat will happen if i did. Every other time that i did.. history and emotions hits me so hard. so hard tat it hurts.. of the friends i lost.. silly things i've done.. promises i made.. chances i missed.. love i found.. and lost again.
i left it quietly beside the CPU below my desk. jus wanting to keep it close. But as fate has it.. i was all alone at home on Thursday night.. mum and brother went out. Yep.. u guessed it right.. i tot about relinquishing a little history. I picked up the rusty box cover in dust. Lay it on my lap and opened it up.
there's a funny expectation everytime i open it up.. i'll be thinking that some divine light will shine from inside like a treasure box from some hollywood movie! ha.Nope.. everytime i'd be disappointed. But still.. even without the "divine" light.. the content is enough to shine a light in my heart.
Surprised that the contents are left exactly the way it was the last time i visited. Right on top of the stack is this old exercise book. I knew wat it was.. it was a diary... my diary. I flipped thru the pages wondering wat i wrote in them. I'm so glad nobody's home that night to spoil this little private moment. i was laughing.. close to tears.. feelin this close proximity to the author.. seeing how i used to be and who i have become. The memories were breath taking!
Only a handful of entries in the 3 years of the diary.. i guess i was a man if little words. but when i wrote.. it was always writing abt the same subject.. this one girl in my life. I felt like i was brought back to the past. Seeing this poor little boy fall head over heels for this specky little girl. Finding a million and one reasons to feel bad about himself. Always thinkin if he ever meant anything to that little girl.. finally finding his way to her heart as they grow up.. Even in the relationship he's mind clouded in revery.. finally losing her.. finally figuring how he'd lose someone so dear.
Such are the memories that made me realised that after 6 years.. no doubt i've grown.. but somehow i cant help but feel i'm back to square one. All those emotions depicted so long ago seemed ever so fresh. Specky little girl no longer specky.. little boy no longer who he used to be.. things dun seem so simple anymore. But the questions remains the same. Will that silent reverence in the teengae boy's heart ever be heard? Maybe it's about time.
Don't know what you do to me but
Everytime I'm with you it's a natural high
It's like re-discovering Eden
with chocolate -coated rainbows
and cotton candy skies
And everytime you look my way
I wish I had the guts to say
There's something in your eyes
Something in your smile
Something in the way you move me
You make me want to sing
Make me want to dance
Make me want to cry
I'm falling in love with you.
