it has began..

not exactly the best of weeks i'm having here. besides me on course and taking a break from work.. everything else is either worrying me.. saddening me.. making me angry and even sometimes troubling me. I cant even sleep properly without thinking about these things to bed.

i should hav expected it.. the aftermath of Rev Chen leaving. It was really dead quiet the next few days after sun. My hair was standing. Everyone had their questions but no one asked.. so no one answered. People who knew kept quiet.. ppl who thought they knew let their half truths stir in them. People who didnt know continues to scratch their head. That is the begining of things to come.. the disgusting silence.

i dun assume i know the whole story.. i dun intend to. i just feel that things are done terribly wrong to manage this "crisis"(if i could call it). It's making things worst.. people are hurt.. ministries are disrupted.. people telling me they're leaving(i'm not sure if it's for the right reasons), telling me to "open up my eyes wide and see".

i gotta say i was hurt to a certain degree.. but i understand. but more so.. i'm not blind. i see the great divide. i see the things that they are doin to each other. Obviously this is a people problem. I cant bear to let it hurt the church. It's God we serve. No one else. i'm not in ministry to please man or to pleasure myself.

I love this church so much. Not only because i grew up here. it's the relationships and bonds i made here. The things God let me experienced here. The promise of so much to come in here.
The kids.. the youth.. the elders.. the aunties and uncles.. the people who were never into church politics. Here enjoying the the presences of God and of each other. the exact people who will be the victims if the church was to undergo another exodus. This much i know i'm not wrong. God isnt done with this church.

I really cant figure how some people could one moment tell me that they had great visions for this church and the next moment give up on it! Doesnt their vision counts? it hurts.. it sure does. but hurtful words are not gonna make it better.

i apologise if i offended anyone in anyway. This entry doesnt represent the views of anyone but me. There jus isnt enough clarity and love in this church. Everyone's hiding some agenda from each other. I'm jus frustrated.

I claim this church in God's name. No one else.. no other names. I pray God send us the wisdom and love to tide this time over.. and really fullfill the intent that God wants us to be.. as one.. to glorify His name.

In Quietness and Confidence is His Strength

Where can i find the strength to carry on from here?

"...In quietness and confidence is My strength."

Was thinking of this during sermon this morning.. a simple msg.. spoke right to my heart.
So where is this quiet confidence? to me.. it's in the knowing tat everything thing is in His hands. No need for panic.. no need for anxiety..the thought of it simply calms and warms my heart again. In quietness and confidence.. hmmm. sounds good. feels even better.

Lester's out of hospital.. looks really pale. trying to cheer him up a little. gonna ask him out after the camp. about time we caught up with each other. funny how it feels to see someone everyweek and yet still misses them. Guess it's not about seeing each rather.. but more of living each other's life that really rids us of the loneliness.

finally after dunno how many donkey years i pick up the table tennis bat once again. ha. really had fun today. my usual tag team partner(lester) not around. sian. but not a prob! i've got Grace with me today. haha. havent lost a match with her around.. not that i'm lousy la... jus that she's pretty good. (pretty and good?hmmm.. wat say you grace? haha). really brought back lots of memories of my sec sch times when i and lester play table tennis every day till like 11 pm!!! haha. think i gotta pick this up as a regular sport since my knees failing on me. sianz

goin back to camp soon. yawn. went to Mayday's concert last night! not bad.. free tickets somemore. haha. quiet enjoy myself. thanks chunsi! ha. next time got free tickets remember to find me.. not only chunsi.. anyone.. any concert.. anyone needs a date.. a bodyguard.. a chauffer. anything ya. haha. if i'm free i really dun mind. :)

goin to church camp this thurs.. so gonna be a short week! yeah! hee. mon got event.. weds i goin for physio.. so i only gonna work for 1 and half day! ha. i love this June!

back to work. ciao