yawn.. Change of Command parade tml.. Doing Cue master. sianz.

cant wait for sat to come! hee. but it seems band prac.. movie and high tea a little tight to be squeezing into half a day. ha. oh well.. will see how.

sweet dreams daniel..

if i asked you you say yes?

just finished my CO's evening. For those who dun understand what that is.. it's like a cohesion night dedicated to my Commanding Officer. so eat.. drink.. watch performance.. drink even more.. make noise.. drink some more.

they had a company item competition.. very last min then i was informed. ended up having to represent my coy to sing a song. ha. damn paiseh.. so i picked my fav and most confident song. Xin Ru Dao Ge by jacky cheung! ha.

thats the only song i can remember by hard.. well.. think i did ok.. got lots of positive comments after tat.. but still got 3rd out of 4 contestants. haha. :( anyway.. it was supposed to sms voting. my battalion is 200 strong.. but my coy only 20 person.. ha. not bad that i didnt come in last eh. haha

army's stupid culture to drink beer really bores me.. keep forcing ppl to drink.. haiz.. my guys all look so drunk. but actually quite funny actually. ha. good thing i was still able to stand beer. but my poor s1.. this lady officer.. got drunk and started singing rubbish. think she's not goin home tonight.. probably sleepin in her officer le ba. hee.

anyway.. went out for a walk with jane, glen and yiling.. aiFen joined us for a while after that. Actually went out looking for a place to makan for glen's farewell dinner.. was thinking of utilizing my coupons from the expensive gourmet club i joined on impulse. ha. Buffets at $68++. ha. damn ex la.. good thing i got discounts! if not i think i'll nv ever spend this kind of money on food.

think i'm pretty decided on goin to one of the buffet thingie le.. will be sending out sms invitations by tml i guess. yummy! Ha.

somehow we landed ourselves in Mos Burger drinking milk tea and eating butterflies(fried prawns actually) talkin abt funny subjects. one of them was relationships.. realize i'm really old sch when it comes to relationship. Starting to bore myself. but it was a hearty talk.. abt real issues close to our hearts. long time since i had time like this to talk to jane le. Glen reminded me that before jane and me started talkin.. it was him that introduced us. ha. i was trying to recall.. seems like so long ago. then jane asked me if i remembered what was the first topic we were talkin abt.. i vaguely had an impression.

the funny thing is that both jane and glen remembers! they told me that the first topic jane talk to me about is about her house being hunted! haha. then it all comes back.. i was laughing myself silly inside.. ha.

another highlight was tat i finally got to see silin again! ha. she must be pretty stressed over her exams ba. Hey lady! if you're seeing this.. JIAYOU!!! hee. sorry for almost losing touch with you ya. dun worry.. will wake you up for church if you need morning calls de! :)

anyway.. i gotta be learning to keep in touch with friends.. seems like i'm always lagging behind. Time moving too fast for me.. next year i'll be at quarter life.. that is if i ever live to be a hundred! ha. sianz. but it doesnt really matter bah.. so old for what.

rubbish.. dunno what i talking abt also. anyway..i'll be asking ppl out for dinner. Like i asked jane. but she refuse to eat with me. :( haha. but she has her reasons ba.. dun worry ya.. no ulterior motives .. just happens to have some coupons to clear. If i ask you (whoever you are) for a dinner date.. dun ask me to eat with my mum like jane did ok! reserved dinners for my mum le. it's you i'm asking. ha.

k la.. sleeping soon.. tired le.. nitez

exam is over! ha. but i think that was pretty old news. 2 days old in fact. thanks God it's over. ha.

i remember just after i finished my last entry.. i met up with this classmate of mine. We talk alot.. but i dun think we really know each other's names. ha. But anyway.. she kept telling me about how stress she was at the moment.. we were just standing outside the exam room.. my mind was pretty blank.. wondering if i should be getting stressed as well. ha

i think she's so stressed because she flunked this module the last sem.. i just told her to relax. everything will be ok. lookin at her stack of well prepared notes.. i guess i should be the one relaxing.

sat done at my table.. as expected.. the air con was cold.. 730 sharp. i flipped the paper and write and write and write... company law and corporate governance.. hmm. good thing my research skills are good.. so open book exams still ok for me. not sure if will pass.. but being able to write till the very last min.. at least i've got things to write about. hopefully the lecturer will give me some sympathy points for my effort. ha.

but things didnt go too well for her.. apparently the tips my tutor gave didnt surface. everyone else studied it.. me? i just got time to read thru my lecture notes. "Good thing i didnt study!" i thought to myself. ha

well.. will see how i did. prepared to do it all over again. but of cos i'm hoping i pass.

k k. time to go for my medical appointment.

Irritating examination

here i sit at the atrium of UniSim .. 1.5hrs more to the start of my examination. give up studying already.. gonna take a break.. take a deep breathe.. vomit what little i know and get out of the exam room! ha.

i know i've hardly been studying.. it's really hard to when u're working and stuff. Imagine after work and you're all tired and drained.. you look at the stack of notes and books. How to find the strength to study!

really envy those seniors in their 3rd or 4th year.. gonna be free from this torment soon. chatting with them they always tell you that it's really not easy juggling work and studies. I even met this air steward who's studying and he's even married with kids! must be hard for him. at least it's over for him now.

the question now is how i will do later.. am i gonna fail a module in my very first sem? ha. i certainly hope not. cleared the rest le.. my final hurdle. people tell me to pray.. i know.. but i paiseh to ask God to help me when the prob is my own reluctance. But God please help me anyways! ha.

besides my last waiver exam.. tonight's paper is the first is 4years ! i pretty sure it's not just anxiety i'm feeling. it's like when you're faced with something new but yet so familiar. army seemed to have dulled my student instinct.. but thats ok.. i've nv have good student instincts anyway.ha. but one thing army taught me is that there's really nothing to worry about. things probably will turn out ok at the end of the day.

so here i come jumping out the plane without my parachute! i expect to be landing on some tree or some sea or something soft at least. dun mind breaking a leg or something.. just dun let me die. so help me God!

oh brother..

interesting how my brother turned around since he went over to FCBC. He always comes home with new things to share.. with new experiences to tell me about. made me feel kinda caught in between.

Recently my brother made a hard decision to leave and went over to FCBC, probably because his girl is over there.. and that in their marriage life it's better for them to serve in the same church. and since Bernice isn't gonna come over.. Andrew's over there.

From a lot of views.. it's really a pity. Been in the same church as my bro ever since i've known him as my "brother". ha. Never really thought this day would come. so many things we wanted to do together in church but we dragged on cos i thought we had time in this church. One thing i really regretted is that some time back, he kept egging me on about leading worship together with him. He told me that it'll be nice that we brothers could be leading worship together. but i told him i wasnt ready.. and it's not like we running short of time.

dun know if i'd ever have the chance again. things would be worst when he moves out after he gets married. times when the 2 of us whistling and singing harmonies out of the blues.. talking abt anime.. taking walks in malls talking about nothing. not anymore i guess.

been really reliant on him since i was a kid. i was living a shadow of his life. followed him where ever he went..wearing his clothes.. reading his books.. listening to his cds.. playing his old toys. that was me. Till a point when i hit adolescence that i realise i dun really know myself. hated everything about him.. wanted to do everything unlike him. wanted nothing to do with him. Nothing wrong with what he did.. it's more like hating the fact that Daniel seems to be lost behind the facade of andrew.

but i only realised how close we really are and how i really need my brother when he went overseas for his studies. i was at a lost.. things he was taking upon himself at home suddenly fell on my weak shoulders. I felt i was left without a shelter.

when he came back.. somehow we became really close.. alot more like what brothers should be. He'd be like a wall that i can lean on. A wall i can throw and bounce my stupid ideas and still get honest feedbacks. really thanked God for him.

but even though he's still here.. it feels kindda empty. i'm seldom at home.. he's always with bernice.. and now he's in another church. Feels like i'm standing in the middle of a big field and any direction that i lean i'm just gonna fall flat on my back. feels like this time i really gotta stand on my own 2 feet.

guess it's about time also. about time i woken up. great to see my brother all worked up for God.. really rubbing it on me as well. ha. quite envious of his God encountering experiences.. and wishing ECF could really do more. But i refuse to condemn ECF like so many did. i'm very sure God is still here.. and despite the hurts and incompleteness.. this church will rise up like dry bones into flesh again!

"Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of The Lord. Thus saith The Lord God unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live: And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am The Lord."

Wedding bells ...

in church now.. way too early for cell.

just attended Qi Wei's wedding this afternoon. was helpin him do videography cos someone else turned him down and told him i am good in video! *stun* First of all... i dun do videos and havent really done any wedding video besides JingHong's. Which is like dunno how many donkey years ago! The one who recommended me is some one who's whole education is in this field! ha.

I'll gladly help QiWei.. just grumbling at the one who sabo me. ha. hopefully he dun get shock when he sees the footages. i hope i opened up the lens cap. haha. just kidding la.. point and shoot.. how bad can it be.

well.. quite a nice wedding.. simple and neat.. nice and cosy. Met alot of ppl there.. new friends.. old friends.. really really old friends. In fact.. today really met alot of old friends.. not only at the wedding. there was Wayne.. Qi Mei.. Qi Min.. Angel(A.k.a angela to me.. ha) and a couple of others.

nice seeing qi mei there.. still as short as i remember. hee. She told me she's doin accountancy in NTU now. Cant believe it.. her petite figure hardly convincing to be a uni student.. haha.. but time really flies. She's still as lame a ever. Took some pictures together.. forgotten to get her phone number or email add. then can send her those photos. ha. (Anyone has her email? please email me in private. thanks)

Well.. i'm kindda in the age where you watch drama serials where they go weddings and all the uncles and aunties will ask you when is mine.. or trying to introduce girls to me.. sianz. it's jus like tv! oh man! sucks... thats the worst parts of weddings.. fending off these questions. ha.

quite shock to know that Qi Wei is getting married.. didnt know he was attached till like when he asked me for help. haha. i was like "wat! you marrying who?!" ha. but he's a nice person.. plays very nice music and he has a nice dog(Xemien - think thats how you spell his dog), got good qualities for find a good wife le.. haha. wat am i talking about??!

Die la.. if according to my standards then i think i gone case le.. i always laugh at my friends.. i cant play a single instrument.. and every single pet i owned either died or ran away! how am i gonna get married??? :(

good thing my standards are rubbish.. haha. well.. jus wanna wish QiWei and his wife a blessed marraige and that they'll fall deeper in love every step of the way.

will post some pictures here once i get the photos from lester.. the bride's maid is pretty pretty..(sounds weird -_-"). haha. but she doesnt smile.. like as if she dun like them getting married or something. haha. the people beside all gotta remind her to smile. ha. We were thinking maybe it's like those drama serials again.. maybe she also in love with QiWei! but too bad can only be bride's maid. haha. think too much.. nvm. -_-"

think i go grab a bite before cell first.. still got second half of my day. will blog again later tonight.

Contagious Emo PoP

i'm home.. in chinese pop mood now. ha. just came back from Ai Qin Hai. it is actually a cafe with live chinese pop music dedication. love the place.. been goin there quite often recently and really enjoy the music there. Lots of the singers there are all pretty good. got me all sucked into the music. ha.

but you know what's the prob with chinese pop? the prob is that chinese is very often very emotional.. sianz. but that is also the reason why i keep going back for more.. slurping up every drop of it. haha.

as soon as i settled back at home.. started looking for Sky Wu songs on imeen.com. ha. got myself a whole playlist, indulging in his beautiful voice painted on heart breaking songs about breaking up on a raining night! haha.. what the hell.. break up then break up la.. why must raining night somemore.. not emo enough you see.. that's chinese pop.. haha. love it.

i'm so in the mood for ktv now.. haiz.. which reminds me.. seems like i havent got no more kahkis to sings with me for a long long time already. sianz. Anyone wanna sing song or short of a partner to sing duet? please call 1800iwannasingktv or visit www.danielwannasingktv.com for booking. wahaha

well well.. better go nap le.. long day tml... happy deepavali..(did i spell it wrong? ha)

another day gone. this week's gonna be a short one.. i'm going home tml night. Cos weds i'm on leave for my medical appointment and my coy outing.. thurs is public holiday and fri i'm on leave again. haha

too bad sat i'm doin duty. spoil my super long weekend. haiz. anyway.. picking fiona up from the airport on weds morning. ha. since i'm on leave and she has an overnight flight. She promised to treat me to her discounted airport meals! ha. but i'll hav to wake up really early. well.. anything for a bite. ha.

one more thing to worry is the retreat on thurs and fri. sianz. supposed to be presenting the worship team's direction for the coming year and stuff.. but seriously, it hasnt been easy. Not when the worship team is still in shambles.. and those people committed also tied up else where. think i'll can only keep it operational at the time being. dun like being in this situation. sianz. what to do.

one more day at work! hope the fire wall works tml.. yawnz

100th post

my 100th post.. finally.. after dunno how many donkey years.. ha.

i guess i probably gotta blog proper this time since it's the 100th one. hmmm.. lots to blog here actually. so long nv scribble here le. Saddening stuff.. happy stuff.. worrying stuff.. new stuff.. happy stuff... dun think they'll ever fit in 1 blog.

well.. another friend of mine passed away a few weeks ago.. motocycle accident. known him from poly.. not exactly close but we do talk. Especially when he also signed on to the army like myself. this sadness feels funny, like it's not settling in well inside me. Read on the newspaper that his dad went crazy on the last day of the funeral. Only son.. :( when is it gonna be my turn?

Looked him up on friendster, saw lots of ppl leaving msgs online for him.. remembering their moments with him. i wanted to write something too.. then i realise i dun know him that well. but i'll always remember that smile when i always see him. good bye zhiwei.

okok.. career update.. i'm in 8sig now! yes yes.. i failed. failed to fight my way to be an instructor. sianz. but it seems my appoint isnt too bad either. but i cant tell you here what i do.. or i'll have to kill you.. haha. lamez. nvm.. i really cant say though.. but my guys are good... my csm and oc are good.. i dun mind doing anything. by the way.. all my 3sig buddies all coming over as well! haha. no longer bored le..ha.

For those taking exams now.. jiayou! be praying for you people. which reminds me.. pray for me too.. my exams this week and next. 2 papers only though.. haha. but still hope i have time to study on top of my schedule.

Rachael made my day today.. ha. went to the baby room as usual.. the kids were storming all over me! especially jacob and tabael! those 2!!! like monkeys! haha. then so happy to see jonathan finally willing to join the kids upstairs! hee. asked him if he enjoyed himself and he nodded his head with a big smile and mouth full of kway teoh! haha. so cute. but later jonathan sat on rachael's hand accidently.. then she ran to me crying showing me her hand. ha. love her so much! so i carried her to find mummy as she requested. but sadly.. she ditched me after she found jenny. haha.

so sad.. only look for me when it hurts.. haiz. at least she still looks for me. haha.

alright then.. my 100th blog entry. actually no big deal la.. haha. think i gotta go bath le.. goin back to camp soon.

ta ta.

from the motion picture STARDUST :
My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine