Sunday, October 29, 2006

Lost it..

times like this i feel so dry.. cant seem to squeeze much out of my life. Makes me feel so dead and lifeless when there are actually so much goin on here. lost my keen eye on life and its little details.. lost the will to take time to smell the roses.. lost the heart to appreciate things around me.

Many interesting things happened in my life recently.. jus dun bother mentioning.. dun know why.. sudden lost the words i suppose. Even took up dance lessons to try freshen things up.. still not working so far. Argh.. i need to find some things to do to excite me again.. but sometimes i feel its really the company that really perks me up. Nope.. not tat the company for the things i'm doin really bores me.. but there's just something missing. this feeling that i'm longing for more.

Wat am i looking for? I really dun know. I know i've got all i need.. but i want something more.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Looking forward to you

Is there a time of the day that you're looking forward to? i jus realised i do.

it's really a wonder how it hit me.. now that i'm waiting for it everyday. Now it marks the end of my day.. usually with a smile of cos.

I dun know when it started.. a simple msg.. a gentle gesture.. some genuine concern. been so long since then.. now i can hardly sleep without it.

i guess you dun know it.. (do you?) or maybe you're not sure, like me.. too. Watever the case.. i guess it true.. i'm looking forward to you.

i'm smiling myself silly.. i'm laughing at myself sometimes. One thing for sure.. u sure make my day.. any day. Its amazing how u do it. feels familar.. but so fresh this time round.

So do i hav a favorite time of the day? i'd have to say.. indeed i do.. Ever since you crossed my world.. i'm looking forward to you.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Unfeeling show.. unfeeling me

back from the movies.. went with a whole bunch of them.. wanted it to be a quieter affair but 10 of us went anyway.. Caught World Trade Center at VivoCity after much protest and debates and of cos comments from ppl telling me its not a nice show. ha. well.. then show wasnt too bad afterall.

one thing is i somehow couldnt get into the movie as much a i wanted to.. my mind kept wondering. feeling so detached from the show. Further more.. was sitting on the very first row.. my neck was stiff as wood!

well well.. nothing much to say about the movie.. hardly feel for it.. hardly feel for anything things lately. Hardly..very hard indeed. Not as sensitive and emotional as before as when everything seems to excite or engage me so easily. I really need a good laugh or a good cry.. or something extreme to excite my senses again. All i can manage now is a smile.. or at max a tear. i could see the point.. the values.. but thats about it. Thats all i could see.. nothing much i could relate. so distant.

Having some misunderstanding with a frien recently.. not sure if misunderstanding is the right word to use cos i hardly understand his situation myself.. hope everything is alright. dun know wat to say to him as well. so i shall keep silent. pray tat God takes over the situation. thats all i'm entitled to do i guess.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Thank God for it.. Thank God it's over

I'm so tired.. Thank God it's over! *Phew!

was really quite amazing tonight.. finally the mid autumn festival gig we were supposed to day. Had butterflies in my stomach all day! ppl teasing me and CONSTANTLY reminding me of the performance the whole day! Oh man.. that sure added to the mounting pressure thats already there.

the evening was rather wet.. but thank God it didnt rain. the turn out was quite healthy for a community event.. (think there were at least 3 to 5hundred ppl there) Well.. at first the crowd was pretty dead. was getting worried i wouldnt get a response from the audience or maybe our item wouldnt strike a chord with them. Nothing much i could do either.. so decided to go on the lantern walk with the kids to destress! haha.

grabbed Tabael with his choo choo train lantern and started running after Jojo! hee.. dead tired when i came back.. couldnt keep up with a 4yr old's pace. haha

finally.. when it's time for us to go on stage.. my heart's nearly in my mouth.. all i remembered was i went up and blabbered some rubbish.. then on i go with my song.. haha. THe band was great.. warmed up the whole crowd. I saw life shot thru the audience.. aunties started singing.. arms waving.. and of cos.. my pillar of support from my beloved church behind the crowd.

God has been good.. fumbled on the lyrics a couple of times. (hope nobody noticed.. hee) but the overall response was very encouraging. My first public performance.. and i'm glad God pulled us thru so well.

Recieved an encore after our 2 songs.. think they jus wanted to drag some time but we definately at a lost cos we really didnt prepare for an encore. Talk to the band and we decided to do Yun Shang Tai Yang(Sun beyond the Clouds) for the encore. Honestly, i was quite worried about he reception.. cos it's a Christian song.. but God had His ways. He planned that song as a blessing and a testimony for the community. Everything turned out beautiful.. our church ppl worshiping in the crowds. jus like wat wenxing and i imagined. starting to enjoy myself on stage. hee
Dr Fatimah(MP for Marine Parade GRC) asked for Paul and me after the event.. so we went to hav a chat with her.. think she was rather impressed and was asking if we were interested to participate in more of those coummunity events in the future. haha. God opened a way for His purpose to shine thru. We agreed to lend our talents if they ever needed and there she goes rushing on stage for the lucky draw. hah.
wat a day.. wat a day. Thank God for it.. Thank God it's over. Glory be to God. :)
well..