i'm on off today..took a walk up Fort Canning Hill. Sitting around on a bench, reading news on my laptop. ha. Act classy eh. actually i tired of walking le.. so taking a break here.
hardly worked much this month. clearing all my accumulated off days and leaves all in this month. so going back to office only for 6 days this whole month. :)
told a lot of people that i really had(or rather still having) a good break this time. got a lot of decisions done. gave much time to myself. Something i had always wanted to do. But i could never imagine how far away from God, how detached i am from my dreams, how easily i've forgotten the things i really want to do, how blind i was from the people i love, until i had this time to slow down and think. And i thank God that this break came in handy at the right time.
decided to change my course of studies from Marketing to Communications. Spent a long time thinking about it. Some people think that i'm just being daniel, just couldn't stick it through. 5 mins interest, i'm at it again. I, too, doubt whether there is some truth in it. That maybe i'm giving myself excuses again every time i meet with a challenge.
I can't blame them for thinking so. I really have nothing to show so far and i really did quit a lot of things before. but am i still like tat? i hope not. i would really hate myself if i am. But it is really scary sometimes, especially when everyday draws near to the day where i have to deliver what i say.
For those who knows me, you probably know i have big dreams and visions, big ambitions and hopefully a small ego. But I do think that i'm built different and that God had given me clear insights on the things i want to engage in. He made me outrageously optimistic, positively pragmatic, addicted to emotional experience and easily excited by the promise of potential and HOPE! Thats me, that's daniel.
But in less than 2 years i will have to deliver a promise that i've spoken for years. Not that anyone is watching if i really could make it, but i think i've cornered myself into a corner where i am gonna meet who daniel really is, If daniel could really walk the talk, if i really am that procrastinating day dreaming idiot, if daniel could really stick it through on the things that matters.
2 more years.I'm really confident this time round, but i can't say that i'm not afraid. But it's about time i guess. Watch me..watch out for me.. pray for me.. pray that i don't lose myself chasing this world.
yep.. thats it. hmmm.. the sound of crickets. so hypnotizing. long walk down the fort. Yawn.. i wonder whats for lunch? :)
