"I'm so amazed at how You take my life And love me more, more than I deserve I'm blown away by Your power to change this life Once more, I'm planted in You
Who would know, that I was once On a road so far away from You All I know is that I live my life To show the world Your amazing love Your amazing love
I'm so amazed at the wonder of all creation I will live to honour You my Lord You are the gold, treasure of all life I will rest in You in praise eternally
As much as i know exactly what Christmas is about.. i cant help but be attracted by the romantic allure that's tagged along with the season. Warm comfort washing thru my body every time i think about it. Ahhh.. feels good to be Christmas again.
Something's stirring in me.. not sure if it's that familar feeling. Doesnt seemed the same this time. My heart was beating so heavy i can hardly sleep. All i remember is i had to let it out. I sat up on my bed.. looking across my bunk lit up by the cresent moon outside my window. Everyone's asleep. Creeped over to my sqeeky cabinet and slipped out my notebook from between my clothes.
My heart's still beating hard.. as if it had something to say. I'm sure i wasnt ready to listen. Or at least i think i probably know wat it has to say. I couldnt care less.. i simply had to let it out. Before i know.. it was close to 230am and i ended up writing 5 pages on my notebook.
I thought i was gonna write a Christmas card or something.. but i dun think there has ever been a 5 page card. A Christmas letter to a special friend that is. A letter of honest reflections.. gratitude.. regrets.. admiration and hopefully a new begining.
I couldnt end the letter.. but the beating died down.. i was exhuasted. I left it as it was and went back to sleep. Felt so comfortable. But deep down inside.. i know this letter will never be sent out.
But still... Blessed Christmas to you.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
I'm back.. back from Aust.. back from church camp... back from madness.
Suddenly felt lost sitting in front of my computer.. missing out quite alot on the cyber world. Almost forgotten about my email passwords and everything. It's been some time i guess.
I didnt have any urge to be slappin on the keyboard right after i came back from aust... not that i've got nothing to share.. it's jus that i long for a more personal interaction with the people around me. Being away for a month from my friends and family really sucks. Its a great experience no doubt.. but nothing beats being with your loved ones. So i guess the internet can wait.hee.
kept a diary over in aust.. in case i forgets abt the trip. Cant share everything over here though.. some personal reflections here and there. Nothing that will interest anyone but me i guess.
Never had a moment of rest since i gotten back in singapore.. always seemed to hav something to do. One moment i'm here..the next moment i'm in church.. the next moment i'm back in Jurong camp.. suddenly i'm in church camp. before i know it.. i woke up on my own bed having been sleeping the past 13 hour.
Dun remember when was the last time i really knocked out like i did yesterday. But it feels great.
Sorry if everything over here looks so unorganised. Had a hard time deciding which event should go into the entry here first or anything theing that i want to say over here. Not that everything's so exciting that it should be included.. it's just that nothing deserves a mention at the moment. I'm still digesting wat i had recieved the past 4 days.
God worked greatly in the camp this year.. He showed me great and mighty things that i never thought i'd see. I felt released.. encouraged.. empowered by the Holy Spirit. I felt like i'm standing in the great divide.. But when i'm back in reality.. i start to forget what is it i had to do. Nope.. the fire havent died down in me.. i'm jus lost. Caught in His will and my circumstances. How do i apply?